|This is the story I told to Becky and Germana on Saturday, November 26 2005, the night we slept together in a
cabin in the woods. It happened to me in December 1998. Remember I was only 10 years old so don’t expect
something really major to happen! lol Amber was one of my best friends who was a great dancer and Laura was
and is one of my best friends even though she moved several years ago. Deacon Mike is the father of a
boyfriend I had after this story happened, Kim is a girl I babysat when I told this story. I tell you who everybody
else is in the story. Enjoy!
One of the first romantic things I ever did with a boy happened when I was 10 1/2 years old in fifth grade. I really
liked this guy named Nate who was in the same grade but not in the same class. But we had the same teacher
in fourth grade. I liked him then but was afraid to tell him because he was very popular.
I was feeling depressed because Ms. Adelman had died. She had babysat me for eight years starting when I
was 2 1/2 years old. Really shes the one who raised me more than even Mommy and Daddy. She died a few
days before Halloween when I was 10 1/2 and I got very depressed. Right after she died I got an orange kitten
named Mr. Biggles that I still have and love very much. But I would lie on my bed hugging my big black stuffed
horse I called Speedo. I would close my eyes and pretend I was holding Ms. Adelman. It was the first big
depression of my life.
I went to see the Nutcracker Suite with Amber and her family because they were trying to cheer me up. I know it
was b4 winter vacation and it was a Sunday matinee because that was cheaper. Amber had her wavy blonde
hair cut a little short and had pretty blue eyes and was wearing a rose colored dress that looked nice with her
light skin. I wanted to dress up too so I wore this white dress with lace that was really pretty. My hair was the
same then as is it now, long and dark brown with straight cut bangs. My eyes are brown to match, and my skin
is tawny because I’m mostly white but also part Mexican. I wore the white tights Ms. Adelman gave me and I
think white shoes. I felt a little sad when I thought about everything Ms. Adelman had done for me, but I was
glad to be with one of my best friends.
When I got to the concert I saw Nate with his family. We weren’t sitting close to them but I could still tell he
looked really handsome all dressed up. He was about as tall as me with light skin, and his short blonde hair hair
was neatly combed back. He wore a black suit with a tie that had blue and white diagonal stripes. Nate also had
black shoes and black socks that were folded over at the top. I can remember everything. I really liked it when
guys dress up and wear ties and I still do.
Amber knew I liked Nate of course. So after the show she took me right over to him. When Amber wanted you to
do something you didn’t have much choice! She asked him to the Christmas party her family was having. I was
totally excited when he said he’d go because of course I was going too!
After that Nate started talking to me at school. He and Amber and I talked a lot we even had lunch together a
few times. The only part that was sad was my other best friend Laura didn’t want to sit with me when Nate was
there because she didn’t like him. She said he was a dog. But I didn’t listen. My heart was saying something
The party was the first day of winter vacation. I wanted to dress up for it but it was casual. So I wore a white
button blouse and a pair of tight white sweat pants. Amber said when I dressed that way one day at school Nate
kept looking at me all the time. So I thought if thats what he likes thats what I’ll wear.
At the party Nate was wearing a red shirt with long sleeves and blue jeans and black and white athletic shoes.
He was casual but he looked really hot. He wasnt even talking to me at first he kept talking to Richard who I
really didn’t like.
Amber kept moving when I was talking to her so I had to keep moving too. Of course I wondered why. So I
asked her “what’s up?” and she said “look up.” And I did and saw we were standing under the mistletoe! And
then she said “hey Nate what's up?” So Nate came over but unfortunately Richard did too. And Nate was
looking at Amber not me. I thought of course he’s looking at her. I didn’t have any breasts at all and she already
did she had the biggest boobs in our school. I mean of the students of course. It’s weird because Amber was 10
then and was just like Kim is now and Kim is 10. But Amber was a little heavier.
Anyway then Amber said “Lorien’s standing under the mistletoe.” But then Nate said to Amber “you are too!”
And then he moved close to her and kissed her right on the cheek! A KOTC is not a big deal now but it was
when I was 10. So I felt jealous. And then Richard wanted to kiss me. And I was like this sucks! Because I didn’t
want Richard kissing me. I wished I hadn’t even come. But I let him kiss me on the cheek because what else
could I do?
But this part was good. Because then Richard kissed Amber and then Nate looked at me. And I didn’t even
know what to say so I just smiled. Really I felt stupid! I wanted him to kiss me and I couldn’t even say anything.
But then he leaned over and kissed me right on the cheek! My heart was racing like crazy I was so excited!
Then later I got upset again because Amber and Nate were talking a lot. I really thought Nate liked Amber not
me. But then he came over to me and said he wanted to talk to me. I walked with him and we went outside. I don’
t think anybody even noticed, except for maybe Amber and Richard. It was cold but we both had jackets on.
Nate just talked about school and soccer and how good he was at video games. Really he was good in a lot of
Then he just looked at me and acted real casual. He was really self-confident. Then he said “Amber says she
thinks you like me. Do you?” He said it just like that! But I was so embarrassed I just smiled at him and then
looked down. But then he said “look at me.” And so I did. And then he said “I like you too.”
I just stood there but inside I was jumping up and down! I was so excited and felt so happy! Nate said he liked
me! But I didn’t know what to do.
Then he said “so do want to hug me or something?” Just like that! He was so assertive. And I still couldn’t talk!
But then I just said “sure.” So he hugged me! And then we just stood there with our arms around each other. I
was so excited it was amazing! I felt like I was floating or something!
Then I wanted to say something but I still couldn’t think of anything to say. So all I said was “do you like the way
Im dressed?” I felt stupid right after I said it. But then he said “yes. You look hot in those pants.” And I said
“really?” And he said “yes.” So I was totally glad I wore them.
So then he patted me but it was like right above my butt. This is weird but I just realized it’s the same way
Deacon Mike used to pat me. I don’t know why I never thought of that b4. Anyway then Nate kissed me on the
I didn’t say anything I just held on to him. Then he looked at me with his deep brown eyes. And then he moved
his face toward mine really slowly. And I thought OMG hes going to kiss me! And he did. He kissed me right on
the lips! It was just a peck but it was totally hot!
Then he kissed me on the lips a couple times which was very exciting. I loved the feel of his lips against mine,
and feeling his warm breath when his face was touching mine. It was cold outside but I felt very warm. Then he
moved like he wanted us to turn around or something. But when we moved his hand went lower and it was right
on my butt! I was thinking OMG! But I didn’t say anything. And while he kissed me he squeezed my bottom
through my sweat pants. That felt very nice and very erotic. He even moved his hand a little like he was feeling
me through my clothes.
It was amazing. I knew what sex was, but at 10 years old was completely inexperienced. What he was doing with
me was the most exciting thing I had ever done with a boy. I felt tingly all over, especially in certain parts of my
body. You know which parts I mean. ;)
Then all of a sudden he said “we better go back it’s getting too cold.” I just said “ok.” It was weird but that was it.
He said we better act like we weren’t together so I better go back in first. So I walked in first and tried to act like
nothing happened. But I felt like anybody who looked at me would know something did. I thought they could
read it all over my face.
When I got home from being with Nate and went to bed, I didn’t change into a sleepshirt. I kept my sweat pants
on. I had my own bed and my own room, so nobody would know what I was planning to do.
I lied in bed and hugged my black stuffed horse Speedo. I closed my eyes and pretended he was Nate. Then I
started squeezing my own butt through my pants. Of course I pretended he was doing it. I squeezed my bottom
with one hand and hugged Nate, really Speedo, with the other.
I used to pretend I was riding Speedo by holding him between my legs, and I did that while I was lying with him
with my eyes close. But this time I started moving my body against him. I always loved riding my horsey but this
was different. It felt really nice downstairs. Of course you know what was happening. And its weird cuz I rubbed
myself b4 then but not with Speedo. But after that I did it with Speedo a lot.
Later I found out Nate did the same thing to a lot of girls. He was always kissing girls on the lips and then
squeezing their butts it wasnt just me. But it didn’t bother me that he did it to other girls. It bothered me because
I thought he really liked my butt. He said I looked hot in those pants, but then I thought he probably said
something like that to all the girls. I think he even squeezed Amber’s bottom but she wouldn’t tell me. So he just
liked butts and mine wasn’t special to him and maybe not to anybody. That’s when I started thinking my butt was
And after our short intimate moment outside, Nate hardly even talked to me again.
But really I didn’t even care. It’s almost like after he kissed me and squeezed my bottom it didn’t matter if he
liked me or not. I was just excited that it happened! It was a memory I knew I could enjoy when I was alone and
wishing boys would pay more attention to me. Because on that day one did.
|Copyright by The Loveshade Family
by Lorien Loveshade