Lorien Loveshade's True Story Nate

LoRiEn
LoVeShAdE

                NATE
              by Lorien Loveshade

This is the story I told to Becky and Germana on Saturday,
November 26 2005, the night we slept together in a cabin in the
woods. It happened to me in December 1998. Remember I was
only 10 years old so don’t expect something really major to
happen! lol Amber was one of my best friends who was a great
dancer and Laura was and is one of my best friends even
though she moved several years ago. Deacon Mike is the
father of a boyfriend I had after this story happened, Kim is a
girl I babysat when I told this story. I tell you who everybody
else is in the story. Enjoy!

One of the first romantic things I ever did with a boy happened
when I was 10 1/2 years old in fifth grade. I really liked this guy
named Nate who was in the same grade but not in the same
class. But we had the same teacher in fourth grade. I liked him
then but was afraid to tell him because he was very popular.

I was feeling depressed because Ms. Adelman had died. She
had babysat me for eight years starting when I was 2 1/2 years
old. Really shes the one who raised me more than even
Mommy and Daddy. She died a few days before Halloween
when I was 10 1/2 and I got very depressed. Right after she
died I got an orange kitten named Mr. Biggles that I still have
and love very much. But I would lie on my bed hugging my big
black stuffed horse I called Speedo. I would close my eyes and
pretend I was holding Ms. Adelman. It was the first big
depression of my life.

I went to see the Nutcracker Suite with Amber and her family
because they were trying to cheer me up. I know it was b4
winter vacation and it was a Sunday matinee because that was
cheaper. Amber had her wavy blonde hair cut a little short and
had pretty blue eyes and was wearing a rose colored dress
that looked nice with her light skin. I wanted to dress up too so I
wore this white dress with lace that was really pretty. My hair
was the same then as is it now, long and dark brown with
straight cut bangs. My eyes are brown to match, and my skin is
tawny because I’m mostly white but also part Mexican. I wore
the white tights Ms. Adelman gave me and I think white shoes. I
felt a little sad when I thought about everything Ms. Adelman
had done for me, but I was glad to be with one of my best
friends.

When I got to the concert I saw Nate with his family. We weren’t
sitting close to them but I could still tell he looked really
handsome all dressed up. He was about as tall as me with light
skin, and his short blonde hair hair was neatly combed back.
He wore a black suit with a tie that had blue and white diagonal
stripes. Nate also had black shoes and black socks that were
folded over at the top. I can remember everything. I really liked
it when guys dress up and wear ties and I still do.

Amber knew I liked Nate of course. So after the show she took
me right over to him. When Amber wanted you to do something
you didn’t have much choice! She asked him to the Christmas
party her family was having. I was totally excited when he said
he’d go because of course I was going too!

After that Nate started talking to me at school. He and Amber
and I talked a lot we even had lunch together a few times. The
only part that was sad was my other best friend Laura didn’t
want to sit with me when Nate was there because she didn’t like
him. She said he was a dog. But I didn’t listen. My heart was
saying something else.

The party was the first day of winter vacation. I wanted to dress
up for it but it was casual. So I wore a white button blouse and
a pair of tight white sweat pants. Amber said when I dressed
that way one day at school Nate kept looking at me all the time.
So I thought if thats what he likes thats what I’ll wear.

At the party Nate was wearing a red shirt with long sleeves and
blue jeans and black and white athletic shoes. He was casual
but he looked really hot. He wasnt even talking to me at first he
kept talking to Richard who I really didn’t like.

Amber kept moving when I was talking to her so I had to keep
moving too. Of course I wondered why. So I asked her “what’s
up?” and she said “look up.” And I did and saw we were
standing under the mistletoe! And then she said “hey Nate
what's up?” So Nate came over but unfortunately Richard did
too. And Nate was looking at Amber not me. I thought of course
he’s looking at her. I didn’t have any breasts at all and she
already did she had the biggest boobs in our school. I mean of
the students of course. It’s weird because Amber was 10 then
and was just like Kim is now and Kim is 10. But Amber was a
little heavier.

Anyway then Amber said “Lorien’s standing under the
mistletoe.” But then Nate said to Amber “you are too!” And then
he moved close to her and kissed her right on the cheek! A
KOTC is not a big deal now but it was when I was 10. So I felt
jealous. And then Richard wanted to kiss me. And I was like this
sucks! Because I didn’t want Richard kissing me. I wished I
hadn’t even come. But I let him kiss me on the cheek because
what else could I do?

But this part was good. Because then Richard kissed Amber
and then Nate looked at me. And I didn’t even know what to say
so I just smiled. Really I felt stupid! I wanted him to kiss me and
I couldn’t even say anything. But then he leaned over and
kissed me right on the cheek! My heart was racing like crazy I
was so excited!

Then later I got upset again because Amber and Nate were
talking a lot. I really thought Nate liked Amber not me. But then
he came over to me and said he wanted to talk to me. I walked
with him and we went outside. I don’t think anybody even
noticed, except for maybe Amber and Richard. It was cold but
we both had jackets on. Nate just talked about school and
soccer and how good he was at video games. Really he was
good in a lot of things.

Then he just looked at me and acted real casual. He was really
self-confident. Then he said “Amber says she thinks you like
me. Do you?” He said it just like that! But I was so embarrassed
I just smiled at him and then looked down. But then he said
“look at me.” And so I did. And then he said “I like you too.”

I just stood there but inside I was jumping up and down! I was
so excited and felt so happy! Nate said he liked me! But I didn’t
know what to do.

Then he said “so do want to hug me or something?” Just like
that! He was so assertive. And I still couldn’t talk! But then I just
said “sure.” So he hugged me! And then we just stood there
with our arms around each other. I was so excited it was
amazing! I felt like I was floating or something!

Then I wanted to say something but I still couldn’t think of
anything to say. So all I said was “do you like the way Im
dressed?” I felt stupid right after I said it. But then he said “yes.
You look hot in those pants.” And I said “really?” And he said
“yes.” So I was totally glad I wore them.

So then he patted me but it was like right above my butt. This is
weird but I just realized it’s the same way Deacon Mike used to
pat me. I don’t know why I never thought of that b4. Anyway
then Nate kissed me on the cheek again!

I didn’t say anything I just held on to him. Then he looked at me
with his deep brown eyes. And then he moved his face toward
mine really slowly. And I thought OMG hes going to kiss me!
And he did. He kissed me right on the lips! It was just a peck
but it was totally hot!

Then he kissed me on the lips a couple times which was very
exciting. I loved the feel of his lips against mine, and feeling his
warm breath when his face was touching mine. It was cold
outside but I felt very warm. Then he moved like he wanted us
to turn around or something. But when we moved his hand
went lower and it was right on my butt! I was thinking OMG! But
I didn’t say anything. And while he kissed me he squeezed my
bottom through my sweat pants. That felt very nice and very
erotic. He even moved his hand a little like he was feeling me
through my clothes.

It was amazing. I knew what sex was, but at 10 years old was
completely inexperienced. What he was doing with me was the
most exciting thing I had ever done with a boy. I felt tingly all
over, especially in certain parts of my body. You know which
parts I mean. ;)

Then all of a sudden he said “we better go back it’s getting too
cold.” I just said “ok.” It was weird but that was it. He said we
better act like we weren’t together so I better go back in first.
So I walked in first and tried to act like nothing happened. But I
felt like anybody who looked at me would know something did. I
thought they could read it all over my face.

When I got home from being with Nate and went to bed, I didn’t
change into a sleepshirt. I kept my sweat pants on. I had my
own bed and my own room, so nobody would know what I was
planning to do.

I lied in bed and hugged my black stuffed horse Speedo. I
closed my eyes and pretended he was Nate. Then I started
squeezing my own butt through my pants. Of course I
pretended he was doing it. I squeezed my bottom with one
hand and hugged Nate, really Speedo, with the other.

I used to pretend I was riding Speedo by holding him between
my legs, and I did that while I was lying with him with my eyes
close. But this time I started moving my body against him. I
always loved riding my horsey but this was different. It felt really
nice downstairs. Of course you know what was happening. And
its weird cuz I rubbed myself b4 then but not with Speedo. But
after that I did it with Speedo a lot.

Later I found out Nate did the same thing to a lot of girls. He
was always kissing girls on the lips and then squeezing their
butts it wasnt just me. But it didn’t bother me that he did it to
other girls. It bothered me because I thought he really liked my
butt. He said I looked hot in those pants, but then I thought he
probably said something like that to all the girls. I think he even
squeezed Amber’s bottom but she wouldn’t tell me. So he just
liked butts and mine wasn’t special to him and maybe not to
anybody. That’s when I started thinking my butt was too big.

And after our short intimate moment outside, Nate hardly even
talked to me again.

But really I didn’t even care. It’s almost like after he kissed me
and squeezed my bottom it didn’t matter if he liked me or not. I
was just excited that it happened! It was a memory I knew I
could enjoy when I was alone and wishing boys would pay more
attention to me. Because on that day one did.

                                 The End