Lorien Loveshade's Why Am I 12?

LoRiEn
LoVeShAdE

I wrote this when I was 12 years old.

Why am I 12?
by Lorien Loveshade

What does it mean to be 12?

I'm not a little girl
who wears frilly dresses and curls
and plays with little baby dolls
and has tea parties
and does nothing else.

But I never was.

I'm not a teenager
They don't want me seeing PG 13
or learning about life
or think about being a girlfriend or wife
who fills her lover's desires.

But I thought about those things when I was 10.

So what am I?

I am me
a person you don't see
a person you don't hear
because you think you already know what I am.

Isn't she sweet
shes always so neat
shes cute and petite
with adorable feet.

But they don't know
I think of death
and sex
and desire
and the burning fire
smoldering in my heart.

I want to scream
and be mean
and say what I think
and shock them
and mock them
and say it all stinks.

Whats wrong with our children?
Why don't they obey anymore?
Why don't they listen to us?

Because don't you see
You never listened
to me.