JaNuArY 5 - 8 2006
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Thursday January 5 2006

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

My branch is meeting Saturday to prepare for being our own
coven. I cant believe it will happen in a week! Really Saturdays
not a good day but Saturday lunchtime is the only time
everybody could meet. I was going to see Daddy and my cuzins
but Ill do that next weekend. I dont have to go every weekend!

later

U straight up wont believe what Flower told Mindy and me! Im
writing this Friday but this is what happened Thursday.

First we all had dinner with my family which was fun. Everybody
likes Flower. I usually do laundry at Mindys on Thursdays but I
did it at Page and Perrys while we had dinner. We just watched
TV and chilled and then went to my crib.

Then we talked about dating cuz Mindy and I r teaching Flower.
She really doesnt know much about boys I mean about dating.
We gave her another kissing lesson cuz she wanted to
practice. And dont think we did Frenchies with her cuz we didnt!
lol She just practiced kissing her hand by making finger lips. I
already wrote how to do that b4 so I wont repeat it! lol

Anyway we started talking about what u do on a date. She
wasnt sure what u wear on a date but we said its different with
different dates. If Im going to a dance I like to wear a dress or
skirt but u dont have to a lot of girls dont. But usually to go to a
movie u just wear pants or shorts when its hot. Most guys like
shorts. Also u want to think about ur body so u can wear
clothes that work. I dont wear a lot of pants with prints cuz it
makes my butt look bigger. And dont wear too much perfume
cuz most guys just like a little. I dont wear a lot of makeup
either. Anyway I wont write everything u can wear on a date! lol
But its good to dress so ur comfortable cuz u want to be
comfortable especially on ur first date!

The most important thing for a date is to decide what u want to
do first. U have to know how far u want to go b4 u go on the
date. Do u just want to hold hands or do Frenchies or cuddles?
Or r ready to go upstairs or even downstairs? I never do more
than French kiss on a first date but everybodys different. I think
if u do too much with a guy at first hell lose interest in u. Some
girls go on a date and the guy wants to do things they arent
really ready for. But if u dont decide what u want to do b4 ur
with a guy u might do something ull regret! Cuz when ur with a
guy u can get all excited and u cant think straight! And u might
be afraid that if u dont do something he wants to do he wont
want u anymore. But if he says he wont be interested if u dont
go farther than u want to then let him go! Its straight up not
worth it.

Flower said all shes ready to do with a guy is hold hands and
hug him. But she said she might want to give Bobbie a KOTL
for his birthday! lol But shes afraid hell want to do more and
then hell be disappointed. We told her the best thing is to tell
him what u want to do and that u wont go any farther. Really I
do KOTL with guys who r friends or relatives but thats me. U
have to do whats right for u. But Mindy and I r excited for
Flower! Mindy said shes sure Bobbie would like a KOTL so
Flowers going to go for it! lol

Then we started talking about sex. Of course Flowers not going
to have sex with anybody! lol She knows some things about it
cuz her parents taught her. They told her that schools straight
up wouldnt teach her what she needed to know.

Perry says that too. He said schools only teach u what
politicians tell them to teach which I guess is true. Really my
parents didnt teach me much about sex either. Mommy taught
me a little but not a lot. And I didnt really learn anything in
school I didnt know already.

I first learned about sex when I was 6 but I didnt understand it. I
saw some pics my cuzin B.J. had but I didnt really know what it
was. Ms. Adelman taught me a little and I know she would have
taught me more but she died when I was 10 1/2. I learned most
of it from my older sister Brandy and from the Internet. U can
learn a lot from the Internet but u have to be careful cuz a lot of
it isnt true. Really I wish I could have learned more from Mommy.


Then Mindy and Flower and I talked about masterbation and
guess what? Flowers never masterbated! I couldnt believe it! I
and all my friends did it when we were little and Flowers 11 1/2!
Ella didnt know how to do it right til we showed her this website
that shows u how. But still she tried it b4. Mindy and I told
Flower we could look for the website for her cuz I couldnt
remember where it was. But she said she didnt think she was
ready! And I was like how can u not be ready to masterbate?
We said that was ok she didnt have to. But I dont know.

Really I think masterbating is like nudism. Nudism is not sex so
dont think that! But theyre both about body acceptance. Being
naked with ppl at a nude beach or a nudist party helps u
accept ur body and the way u look. It shows u that ppl just look
like regular ppl they dont all look like models. So then u can
feel better about the way u look. Really its easier when ur
naked cuz u dont have to hide anything u can just be urself.

Masterbation teaches u that its ok to touch ur body. Its like if u
think ur dirty or something downstairs then ull be ashamed of
urself. It makes it seem like sex is dirty and something bad but
its not. And doing sharies can be a beautiful experience. Really
I think some girls have sex with a guy when they arent ready
cuz theyre afraid to do things for themselves! If u can take care
of urself and share with ur friends then u wont have to run to
some guy to take care of u. And if u feel good about urself u
wont want to. Not til ur really ready.

We didnt talk about it a lot cuz we didnt want Flower to feel bad.
Shes a great girl! I wish she was Wiccan cuz shed be great in
our coven. But thats ok. We dont believe theres only one true
religion. Even Baptists can be a true religion even though they
dont understand theres a Goddess. Nature isnt all male! But
there isnt only one path. And even some Christians understand
that there is a God and Goddess and they think of the
Goddess as Mary. Cuz really Catholics r Christians too.

Anyway finally we went to bed and then we gave each other
backrubs! It was really sweet. Mindy even fell asleep! lol

Friday January 6 2006

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I thought I was going to take Flower to her middle school b4
Mindy and I got picked up. But Mexi gave her a ride so that was
cool. Mindy and I always ride to school with Germana and Mexi.
Of course I can drive everybody now.

Flower didnt want Mindy and I to tell anybody she plans to kiss
Bobbie for his birthday tonight! lol She still doesnt know how
shes going to ask him if he wants her to. But we told her we
know he does! Mindy and Flower want me to go but really I
think Bobbie should be the person to ask me. Its not a big
birthday party and I didnt think I could go cuz I thought Id be
with my cuzins. If u dont know Bobbies 13 today so hes a
teenager!

later

Flower had fun at Bobbies b-day party but she didnt kiss him!
She said she wanted to but she never had a chance cuz there
were too many ppl there. Mindy told her that nobody would be
mad but Flower was embarrassed. Really I think shed be a
great girlfriend for him but I dont know if she can date yet. She
hasnt asked her parents yet.

Flower and Mindy and I might spend next Friday night together
after the dance concert. I really like Flower but I dont know
about something. I know Mindy will read this but Im going to
write it anyway! lol I got diapers for Mindy like weeks ago and
even got her to wear one. Cuz of course shes wanted to for a
long time. But she only did it once and she didnt use it even
though I told her I dont mind changing wet diapers. Some ppl
might think its weird but a lot of ppl do it! Really I think its sweet
cuz she was my baby in a past life. U know I changed her lots of
times then. I think changing her will be a special kind of
sharing. But Mindys nervous. U dont have to be nervous Mindy!

Saturday January 7 2006

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

We had our branch meeting and there were some surprises!
And I learned something really kewl but I cant tell u yet!

First let me tell u who was there. It was Miss Sasha, Goldina,
Mindy, Ella, Carol, Germana, Wendi, Tamber, and me. Were all
branch members cept Germana and Wendi who will be next
weekend and Tamber who we had to decide on.

We talked about a lot of things but I wont list them all. Some of
it is private and just for my branch members anyway. But we
wanted to decide some things b4 we become our own coven
and we did!

First of course we accepted Miss Sasha as an Elder Priestess
and Goldina as our High Priestess. Im a Priestess, Mindy and
Ella and Carol r Initiates, and Germana and Wendi will be. My
coven just used Initiate, full Wiccan, High Priest and Priestess
and Elder Priest and Priestess even though we never had an
Elder Priest. Some covens just have three levels and some call
them first, second, and third level initiate. Each coven is
different.

In my new coven Initiate is somebody we accept whos studied
Wicca for at least a year and a day. Priest and Priestess is
someone whos been a Wiccan for at least a year and a day
thats ready. High Priest and Priestess will be someone whos
really experienced whos been Wiccan for years and theyll be
the coven leaders. Of course we dont have a High Priest yet
but me might! Then Elder Priest and Priestess is someone
whos had even more experience than a High Priest or Priestess.


But we might call somebody Wiccan whos ready to be a Priest
or Priestess but hasnt had a period or emission yet. Really I
hope we do cuz then Mindy could be a full Wiccan! But well
decide that after we become a coven.

Well have ceremonies for the full moons and for the lesser and
greater sabbats. But full moon esbats wont have to be on the
exact day of the full moon they can be the day b4 or after
whichever is closest. We can celebrate the new moons if we
want to of course but that wont be as a coven.

Theres more but I wont write everything. Well have an
agreement that well all sign next weekend. We saw the
agreement but were making a couple little changes.

Ok let me tell u the surprises! First Miss Sasha and Goldina
both think Austra is ready to be an initiate! I didnt think they did
but really it was somebody in my old coven who didnt. Im glad
cuz I think shes ready too and all my branch does! She doesnt
have much time to get ready but Germanas going to help her
and Mindy and I r too if she wants to do it! She said she has to
think about it which really is good. Austra is very organized she
plans everything and thinks b4 she does things. If shell join
then Mindy, Germana, Wendi, Austra, and I will spend the night
together Monday at Germanas house so Mindy and I can help
everybody get prepared. I wanted to do it at my crib but theres
straight up not room!

Miss Sasha told me something else about Austra thats really
kewl! But sorry I cant write all of it. Now I know why Miss Sasha
always asked me a lot of questions about her! But all I can write
is I have to work with Austra to help her get ready. I know
Germana and Mindy will want to know more but Im sorry I cant
tell u its a secret! lol

The other surprise is we voted to make Tamber a member! It
had to be unanimous of course. Miss Sasha really thinks we
need a guy so we can be balanced. Really I do too. I dont know
him really well but Miss Sasha and Goldina do. Hes had a lot of
experience. Hes been Wiccan for years and joined a coven
when he was 18 cuz they said he had to be an adult by mans
law. We dont believe that of course but thats ok. I think that
was 13 years ago. Ive only been Wiccan for six years but I
joined my coven when I was 13 1/2. Tamber even led a lot of
ceremonies cuz they didnt have a High Priest. So well have a
Priest with a lot of experience which is good!

Its weird cuz well be starting with a lot of members! If Austra
joins well have Miss Sasha, Goldina, Tamber, Mindy, Ella,
Carol, Wendi, Germana, Austra, and me thats ten ppl! We can
only have three more! My old coven started with five.

Oh and were going to make most of our esbats just for our
coven and maybe for my old coven cuz we might do some
together. But most of our sabbats will be open to other ppl.

I cant wait for Saturday!

Sunday January 8 2006

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I really dont like living by myself. Its cool when I have friends
here on the weekend or theyre spending the night. But nights r
too quiet when Im by myself. And during the day theres always
ppl wandering around the antique store. I cant even come
home or leave without ppl being here. Its not too bad on school
days cuz theres nobody here when I leave so Im not walking
through customers. And then after I go to high school or
college and babysit I have dinner with everybody so when I go
to my crib the stores already closed. But on Saturdays and
Sundays theres ppl here walking around right outside my
bedroom door! Its always locked of course but still it feels
weird. Thats why I like seeing Daddy and my cuzins and my old
school friends on weekends.

I always have somebody spend the night with me on Mondays
cuz the stores closed all day and that feels weird too.
Especially when its a Monday holiday and Im home all day with
nobody here.

But I really dont want to live with Page and Perry either!
Mommy and Page argue all the time theyre worse than Mommy
and Daddy were. Perrys always talking conspiracies but of
course I know a lot of them r true. I dont know how to say this
but its weird how Aunt Ebee and Uncle Frankie talk to each
other. Its almost like Aunt Ebee is the queen and Uncle Frankie
is her slave or something. Hes always doing stuff for her like
getting her a soda or fixing her pillow or whatever. I guess he
likes doing it but I dont know.

I think Id like my own apartment if I had a roomie. Like if I had a
crib with Mindy or Becky or Laura or Germana or something.
We could each have our own room like a two bedroom
apartment. Really it could even be a few of my friends if we had
a house. And I really miss having a bathtub. I can take a bath
at Page and Perrys or at Mindys but its not the same as having
one in my own house. I dont want to take a bath and then have
to go home!

Ok I really should be doing homework and getting ready for
tomorrow!
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Copyright 2006 by Lorien Loveshade


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The most
important thing for
a date is to decide
what u want to do
first.
If u can take care
of urself and
share with ur
friends then u
wont have to run
to some guy to
take care of u.
Flower didnt
want Mindy and
I to tell anybody
she plans to
kiss Bobbie for
his birthday
tonight!
U straight up wont
believe what
Flower told Mindy
and me!
We started
talking about
what u do on a
date.
Then we started
talking about sex.
Masterbation and
nudism r both
about body
acceptance.
I think Flower
would be a
great girlfriend
for Bobby.
We had our
branch meeting
and there were
some surprises!
The other
surprise is we
voted to make
Tamber a
member!
My Wiccan branch
had a lot to
decide.
Miss Sasha and
Goldina both think
Austra is ready to
be an initiate!
I really dont like
living by myself.
I always have
somebody
spend the night
with me on
Mondays cuz
the stores
closed all day
and that feels
weird too.
I think Id like my
own apartment if I
had a roomie.
My branch is
meeting Saturday
to prepare for
being our own
coven.
I think changing
Mindy will be a
special kind of
sharing.
I first learned
about sex when I
was 6 but I didnt
understand it.