Lorien Loveshade's Private Diary December 19 to 23 2005

Monday December 19 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I miss Germana already! I know theyll have a great time. They
dont have anybody housesitting but somebodys taking care of
their animals. Usually Germana spends the night with me on
Monday but Mindys going to this time.

Im on vacation but I still have to babysit! Really Im babysitting
longer cuz Kim and Rodney arent in school. Theyll be at their
grandparents a lot so I wont babysit them every day. Im glad
Kim finally had her second period cuz she was totally worried
about it. I told her dont worry! Skipping periods is natural when
u start that happened to Carol a lot. I guess it did to me too but
I dont really remember. I think mine were regular really early
but not at the beginning.

I have a lot of plans! Mindy will be here tonight, then
Wednesday were having Winter Solstice which is Yule.
Somebody asked me if they were different but theyre the same
thing. It will be our last ceremony as a branch. On the next full
moon well be our own coven! Were going to talk about how we
want to do things cuz we have a lot to decide.

Then Im going to spend a couple days with Becky and Cassie
and my other old school friends and Daddy and my cuzins.
They said its ok that I spend Christmas with Mommy cuz I spent
Thanksgiving with them. Benny and Brandy will be here which
is kewl. I wish we could all be together but maybe we will be
again someday. Mommy is spending so much time with Abbie I
dont know what to think.

Then Ill be back here and Ill see Laura! She moved over four
years ago so its totally kewl that I still get to see her. But I also
want to spend the night at Aunt Lizzies so maybe she could go
too. It would be fun if Mindy and Becky and Laura and I could
all go! I wish Germana was here too then all my best friends
could spend the night together. But I straight up dont know
when we can do it cuz Mindy and her family r leaving after
Christmas to see her Aunt Hanah. Id really like to go with them
but I dont know if I can!

later

Guess whos here? Mindy and Flower! I cant write a lot cuz
Flower doesnt read my diary. But Ill write more later.

later

It was weird cuz I wasnt sure what to tell Flowers parents about
where I live! Cuz ppl arent supposed to know I live in the
antique store. We tell ppl I live with Page and Perry and
Mommy but of course I really live by myself. Flower knows but I
didnt know if her parents did. Anyway Flower went to Mindys
first so it wasnt a problem. We all ate dinner with Mindys family
of course Flower wanted to do that! lol Mindy and I both know
her brother Bobbie and Flower r boyfriend and girlfriend even
though they wont admit it. But its like everybody already knows!
lol

Oh we got the staff for Holden its beautiful! Flower made it with
her dad Tyrone. Its really like a cane but its red wood and it
has dark veins in it its really pretty. The cane part is ivory but
its not real ivory of course cuz that comes from elephants. We
were going to get him a different one but Ella found out he
really likes this type of wood and its made exactly the height he
likes. He still doesnt know were getting it for him! I was worried
Carma might feel bad cuz we arent spending as much on her.
But Ella explained it and she said her Momma is really happy
were doing it. I wanted to talk to Ella more about what
happened with her but I couldnt.

Anyway after dinner I brought Mindy and Flower to my crib.
Mindy said she hopes Flower and I go with her and her family!
She wants to spend the night at Aunt Lizzies too but she doesnt
think it will work. But Flower wants to go so that might be fun.

U can guess we started talking about boys! Flower had a lot of
questions cuz of course shes only 11 1/2. But shes really
mature. Its funny cuz Mindy is three years younger than me
and Flower is three years younger than Mindy. Mindys my little
sister so its almost like Flower is hers.

I really didnt know how much to tell Flower cuz shes a preteen
and of course her familys Baptist. But Mindy believes if shes
old enough to ask questions shes old enough to hear the
answers so I guess thats true. It was cute cuz Flower was
asking how to kiss and Mindy was trying to show her! lol Its like
how do u show somebody how to kiss by urself? But then we
said she could practice with her hand. If u want to know how to
practice kissing heres a lesson for u!

First make a fist with ur hand. U want it with ur thumb on ur
pointer finger so it looks like lips. Then u practice puckering ur
lips and kissing ur finger lips! U can even practice French
kissing that way. Of course I first learned from a guy which is
better! lol Mindy first did Frenchies with Becky but she didnt tell
Flower that! lol So Mindy and Flower and I were all kissing our
hands! lol Oh and if u practice French kissing u really should
lick ur finger lips first even though that sounds weird. But it
doesnt work right if theyre dry it feels weird.

Flower said she isnt ready to French kiss but she wanted to
know how to do it for when she is ready. Really thats a good
idea. I was 12 when I first French kissed and so was Mindy.
Flowers 11 1/2 so its about time! lol j/k Really there isnt a
certain time it can be any age its just when ur ready. Kimberly
did Frenchies with Garrett when she was 9 even though that
might be too young. But I guess its different for different ppl.

Oh this was funny but we talked about when we believed in
Santa Claus. Of course none of us believe in him anymore! But
then I joked about what would Santa wear to a nude beach? lol
But Flower said they did have Santa at a nude Christmas party!
But she said he wore his Santa suit cuz otherwise nobody
would know he was Santa! lol Really I dont know. It would be
weird sitting on Santas lap when ur naked! But I guess it would
be weirder if he was naked too! lol Of course Flowers used to
that cuz she grew up being nudist. But Ive only been a real
nudist for a year and a half and Mindy has for half a year. Ive
been a nudist for a really long time but thats when I first did it
with guys there. But Flowers always done it so she doesnt even
think anything about it.

Anyway then we watched TV and drank hot chocolate with
marshmallows yum. We watched TV while we all lied in my bed
which was fun. Its queen size but its still almost too small for
three ppl. Its funny cuz were all nudists but Flower doesnt sleep
naked with anybody. Of course Mindy and I do but we dont
when shes there.

Flower is really sweet shes a good friend. Sometimes I dont
even think about how old she is cuz shes very mature. Really I
think girls sometimes mature sooner than guys. But Flower
doesnt act like shes older she still acts like a girl. I dont know
how to explain it. But shes cool!

Tuesday December 20 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Guess wholl be here for Christmas with Benny and Brandy?
Uncle Oz and Aunt Lizzie! Its kewl cuz Laura will be here and
she really likes Uncle Oz. I hope she can spend the night with
me at Aunt Lizzies cuz she doesnt really know her. Mindy cant
cuz her familys leaving Christmas Day so I cant go with them. :(
Of course Im really happy about seeing Laura I just hoped we
could all be together. I think Becky can go so thats good and
Flower might go too.

later

I have a problem! I thought I wouldnt have to babysit Thursday
and Friday so I was going to leave Thursday morning to see
Daddy and Becky and my cuzins. But now Charlotte wants me
to babysit like all day Thursday! So that sucks! I need the
money but still. I could go there Thursday night but then Id
have to come back Saturday so I dont know.

Wednesday December 21 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Good Yule! Tonight is the last meeting of my Wiccan branch as
a branch. On January 14 well be our own coven! And Germana
and Wendi will be initiates. I dont know if I told u their Wiccan
names or not but Ill wait til then. I wish Germana and Austra
could come tonight but of course theyre in Europe.

later

Our esbat for Winter Solstice was cool! Ill tell u who was there.
Elder Priestess Miss Sasha, High Priestess Goldina, Priestess
Artariel who is me, Initiate Sennyoko who is Mindy, Initiate
Desmodia who is Ella, Initiate Sealegs who is Carol, Wendi,
Kayla, and Priest Tamber. Tamber knows Miss Sasha and
Goldina and he might want to join our branch when it becomes
a coven but I dont know. I really dont know him yet. I think he
works for a dairy and does art.

We had a good ceremony then we had like a little party which
was fun. Everybody brought something to eat. I thought Bibi
and Olive might come but they didnt. I hope they and Deno
come next time! I think Tamber is coming so maybe Deno will
too with another guy there. He didnt like being the only guy.
Olive is in Catovidas coven but she might join ours. I hope she
does!

I wish Mindy had her menarche cuz Miss Sasha thinks she
might be ready to be a full Wiccan if she did! Shed have to
show shes ready but I know she would be. Well start as a
coven with Miss Sasha, Goldina, Mindy, Ella, Carol, Germana,
Wendi, and me thats eight people! We can only have five
more. And if Deno and Olive and Kayla become initiates then
wed only have room for two more!

Oh and I have good news about tomorrow. Mindys going to
help me babysit and Charlotte is letting her babysit Kim and
Rodney by herself so I can leave early! I wish Mindy could go
but of course she cant. But I want to see Becky and Cassie and
Herbie and Daddy and my cuzins. I dont know why but today I
really missed Herbie. We broke up on August 6 which is four
months ago and I havent hardly dated since cept for Deno. I
really need to date more! But I dont know cuz I really miss
Herbie.

Thursday December 22 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Im babysitting Kim and Rodney and then I get to go see Daddy
and my old school friends! Mindys here with me and then Im
leaving and shes watching them. She doesnt get much
babysitting money cuz she hardly gets to babysit Brandi and
Dustin. Really that wasnt fair anyway cuz really she had to
watch their older brother Justin whos too old to need a
babysitter. But he was a bigger problem than they were!

I might get to babysit another kid I hope so! Loni might need a
sitter for Shari whos 6 I think. I hope so cuz I spent all my
money on Christmas shopping! She lives in the apartments too
so that would be easy.

later

Im at Beckys! But Ill tell u about Kimberly and Rodney first.

Charlotte gave me a Christmas bonus so that was cool. And
Kimberly and Rodney gave me a T-shirt! Its really kewl cuz they
got a white T-shirt and decorated it themselves! Its got Santa
on the front and Ho Ho Ho on the back its really cute! I told
them Id wear it for Christmas. Theyre really sweet. I gave them
all a Christmas CD and gave Kimberly a pretty white nightgown
with lace. I told her I get a white nightgown every year and now
that shes a woman its time for her to have one. She really
hugged me she was really happy. I gave Rodney the Peter Pan
movie Hook which he didnt have. Of course I love Peter Pan
and Wendy and he loves Captain Hook! lol

Beckys whole familys here cept Joni and her husband Andre
but theyll get here Christmas Eve. If u dont know their family is
Kay whos their mom, Kevin whos 21, Beth whos 19, and Becky
whos 17 1/2. I think Joni is 24 and Andre is 27 but Im not sure.
If u dont know their father Leon died in a car accident this year
in April. Everybody misses him.

I still havent finished my Christmas letter! Really I guess its too
late so Ill do one next year. Im not spending the night at Beckys
tonight cuz its too crowded! lol But Beckys staying with me at
my cuzins! Of course thats too crowded too! lol

later

I saw Narnia with Becky and my cuzins but of course I already
saw it. But I didnt tell them that! Its a really good movie so see it!

Friday December 23 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

My little cuzins r totally excited about Christmas. Theyre driving
everybody crazy! lol Of course next Christmas Ill have a new
cuzin. I dont know if it will be a boy or girl but both would be
cool. But Denise and Nolan said this will be the last one cuz
Nolans getting neutered! lol

I tried to talk to Daddy about Mommy but he didnt say very
much. He didnt sound mad he just acted like he wasnt
interested. Of course I know he is. So then I said Benny and
Brandy will be here. Cuz he hasnt talked to them since they got
married and that was over a year ago in summer. How can
Daddy not talk to his own daughter? And he raised Benny even
though Bennys really Uncle Oz son. Anyway Im not going to
write about that right now or Ill just get upset.

later

Im going to see Herbie and Miss Sasha and their family
tomorrow! I want to see Cassie and Whitney and Linda and
everybody but I dont have much time! But Ill come back after
Christmas cuz I got another week off. Im spending tonight at
Beckys. It was fun cuz Kevin was gone so guess what we did?
Becky and I skinnydipped in the jacuzzi with Beth and Kay! We
havent done that all together in a long time. Its hard for them
cuz this will be their first Christmas without Leon. Even though
its been almost a year its still really hard. Its hard for me with
Mommy and Daddy being separated but at least I still have
them!