Lorien Loveshade's Private Diary December 2005

Saturday December 17 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I straight up dont know what to think! I wish I could tell u whats
happening but I have to wait til I can talk to somebody. But I am
still pissed!

later

I went to Germanas familys Christmas party and I felt better. A
lot of ppl went of course they usually have a lot of ppl.

If u dont know they have a two story house with a fireplace and
theres a hot tub in back. And their house was totally decorated
I think even more than last year! They had white ice cicle lights
going around the trim of the house and the windows, and some
of them on the garage made the shape of a Christmas tree!
Santa was there with his reindeer and they had lit candy canes.
I really should decorate my apartment I dont know why I havent!
Of course the antique store is decorated and Page and Perry
and Mommy and everybody have some in their house. But all I
have is my bedroom and a bathroom so what can I decorate?
But I think Ill decorate my bedroom. I dont know why I didnt do
that b4 but my family never used to get ready for Christmas til
the weekend b4. But that was Daddys idea not mine!

Anyway Germanas family is Monica whos a dental assistant,
Vince whos a psychologist, Randi is the oldest sister shes 20
but she doesnt live with them, Germana is 17 1/2, Mexi is 15
but hell be 16 tomorrow, Austra is 10 1/2, and Nether is 7.
None of my family went they dont go to anything. But I saw Aunt
Lizzie! I talked to her a little about my problem but Ill tell u about
that later.

Quinn whos 19, Olive whos 17, and Kurt whos 11 were there
and their mom Reggi whos Germanas aunt. Her Uncle Fred
wasnt there. I talked to Olive a little about our branch becoming
a coven and even told her she could come back if she wanted
to. Really after I said it I wasnt sure if I should have. But she
said she might want to! She said they really arent doing
anything and she doesnt really like Rad anyway. Really I think
hes the one who caused the problem.

A lot of ppl from our branch were there. Mindy was there with
her family which was cool, and Goldina was there too. And
Becky came! Kayla was there too, and Deno. Guess what Deno
did? He gave me a KOTL under the mistletoe! lol I got kissies!
Nether gave me a little kissie and of course Mindy did. But
guess who else gave me a KOTL? Josh! He and Dolores broke
up but dont think anything cuz Im not looking for a boyfriend! lol

And Becky and Germana kissed each other but no tongue! Of
course theyve done that but not in front of everybody! lol

A lot of us brought ornaments for the library tree. Everybody
brings an ornament to decorate it and then they give it to a
family who doesnt have one. If u didnt bring an ornament they
have some u can use but Mindy and I and a lot of my branch
brought one. They have a big tree in the living room they keep
of course.

We sang Christmas carols cuz a lot of ppl in Germanas family
play the piano. And Mac played the guitar but guess who
brought her guitar this year? Mindy! So she played too which
was totally kewl. She plays guitar and flute of course. I cant
really sing so I just sing really quiet so nobody can hear me! lol

Ok let me tell u about Aunt Lizzie. I talked to her about what
happened with Ella. She said I should check to get the other
side of the story and of course I will. But then Aunt Lizzie said if
Ella needed a break she could visit with me during winter
vacation! Thats good cuz Aunt Lizzie really helps ppl. Im going
there sometime during vacation but I dont know when. Mindy
and Becky want to go too. Of course Germana cant cuz shell
be gone.

Oh Santa and Mrs. Claus were there again so guess what I
did? I sat on Santas lap! lol Mindy did last year too but I was
nervous so I didnt. But this year I did. Monica sat on his lap but
Germana said she does that every year. And of course u know
Becky did! Germanas family gave me a Christmas present but I
dont know what it is cuz Ill open it later. I really should buy more
presents for ppl but I dont have much money! And I really
should finish my Christmas letter. Im posting it on my site but I
want to print some too. But I have to do it soon its almost
Christmas!

Oh and if ur wondering I didnt drink any booze. Ppl drank a little
but nobody got really drunk. If somebody did they can spend
the night cuz Germanas family wont let anybody go home drunk
unless they have a driver which is good.

Becky spent the night at Germanas and some other ppl did too.
I wanted to have somebody spend the night with me but I didnt.
But really thats ok. I had fun! But Im nervous about this whole
thing with Ella and Johnnie. I have to talk to him tomorrow.

Sunday December 18 2005

I dont know what to do! I really want to talk to Johnnie but he
wants us to come and see him. But Im like can I talk to him with
everybody there? So maybe I should call him on the phone. But
Im nervous about it! Really Im still upset but I dont want to be a
bitch!

later

Ok I called Johnnie. He said I can post what he said cuz I use
pseudonyms anyway.

He said what Ella said wasnt right! Ella told me that she just
wanted to sleep with Johnnie just do cuddles. But he wanted to
do more! She said he even started trying to do things with her
when she was asleep! But she said she wasnt really asleep I
didnt think she was.

But then Johnnie said all he did when she was asleep was give
her a little kissie. But then when she woke up she wanted to do
more and he had to tell her no! So now Im like who do I believe?

And then theres something else that totally pissed me off. Ella
said Johnnie told her about my diary! I post it online but Ella
didnt even know about it. Really I thought about telling her b4
but Ella isnt always good at keeping secrets. I mean shes good
but not always. So now she wants to read my diary! And really I
dont show it to any of my friends IRL just my best friends and
now Johnnie.

But Johnnie said he didnt tell her I posted it online he just said I
showed him part of it. So I dont know. I have to talk to Ella
again. Were going back to see Johnnie but I want to talk to her
first.

later

Now I am totally confused! We went to see Johnnie again. This
time it was Ella and Wendi and Becky and Germana! Johnnie
hasnt even chatted with Germana b4 but she wanted to meet
him and he said it was ok.

But first I talked to Ella. She told her parents we were doing last
minute Christmas shopping or something. So I told her what
Johnnie said and I asked her about the diary. But she said
Johnnie just told her I showed him my diary but she didnt say
he saw all of it so I guess she doesnt know I post it. So I just
told her I could show her part of it too so thats ok. But if u read
my diary and know some of my friends IRL please dont tell
them about it! U can tell anybody about my diary who doesnt
know me IRL of course! I like ppl reading my diary even though
I dont think Ill post it anymore after I turn 18 on March 13.

But then I asked Ella about what they said. Cuz she said
Johnnie was macking on her and he said Ella was macking on
him! But she just said dont worry about it cuz they worked it
out. So I dont know what happened!

Anyway this time we didnt meet Johnnie at his motel room we
met him at this really big mall. I never go there but its huge!
They have everything there. And Johnnie got us all presents
even Germana isnt that sweet? Guess what he got me? A
figurine! If u dont know I have a figure collection and I want one
to represent each of my friends. Its really cute its this little boy
whos wearing this cap and is sitting on a train. Johnnie said its
an engineers cap. The boy has really big eyes like anime hes
really cute. I wanted to get something for Johnnie but he said
dont worry about it cuz he knows I dont have a lot of money.
None of do cept Germana. So we gave him something from all
of us! We gave this purple turtleneck shirt which he really liked.
Ella gave him something else too but I dont know what. She
said she didnt but I know she did cuz he thanked her!

Johnnie got Becky, Germana, and Wendi a ring for their belly
buttons! And I was like Germana and Wendi dont even have
them pierced! But he said they will! lol Really they both want to
get them done. I know Germana can but I dont think Wendis
parents will let her. He said I should too but I told him I wont. I
only have one piercing in each ear but I might get more. But I
dont know about getting pierced anywhere else. They said if
they do it I should too but I dont know. He knew Ella couldnt get
hers pierced so he got her this really cute snow colored mini
skirt. U cant find many mini skirts now that its colder but at that
mall u can find anything! And he gave us all a CD with stories
and pictures on them but I wont tell u more about that! lol ;)

He said Wendi shouldnt cut herself. Really I dont think she
should either even though she makes patterns. She says its
like body art but I dont know.

After we ate at the mall we went back to Johnnies motel room
so it was crowded! lol He just has one room with a bed and a
couple chairs and a bathroom with a shower and tub. Really its
like my apartment cept his has a tub! lol

Germana had to go back for Mexis b-day and Becky couldnt
decide what to do. She really wanted to go with Germana cuz
shes staying with them and its Mexis birthday but she also
wanted to see Johnnie more. Anyway finally she said she
should go with Germana cuz that where her ride home was! lol
But Johnnie had mistletoe so she had to give him a KOTL first!
lol Becky will kiss anybody! LMAO j/k But Germana kissed him
too! lol Of course we all did.

Then Johnnie said he heard about the games we play but
thank God he didnt mention he read about them in my diary!
He talked about playing I Never but we decided to play Truth or
Dare. If u already know how to play it then just skip this part! lol
One person starts and asks somebody “truth or dare.” If that
person says “truth” then the one who started asks them a
question and they have to tell the truth. Sometimes u do it with
just yes and no questions but u dont have to. Or if that player
says “dare” then the first person can dare them to do
something and they have to do it. But of course it cant be
anything thats illegal or could harm someone. Then the person
who took the truth or dare gets to ask somebody else “truth or
dare.”

Anyway we decided that cuz Johnnie was the guest he could go
first. He asked Ella “truth or dare” and she said “dare.” So he
said model the skirt he got her! lol So thats what she did of
course. She looked really hot in the skirt its really short and
really tight. She thinks shes fat but shes not she has a nice
bootie! lol

I wont tell u all the Truth or Dares just some. But really Johnnie
cheated on one! He dared Wendi to show him all the girls belly
buttons! lol Wendi asked me truth or dare and I said “dare.”
Then she said model Ellas skirt! lol So of course I did. Really
we wear about the same size even though my butt looks bigger
than hers. She says hers is bigger but it looks smaller on her it
looks good. I was going to dare Wendi to model the mini skirt
too but shes thin so it might fall off! lol

Anyway I asked Ella “truth or dare” and she said “dare.” I was
hoping shed say truth cuz I wanted to ask her something. So I
dared her to dance for us! lol

Later Wendi asked Ella and Ella said “dare.” Then Wendi
dared Ella to kiss Johnnie for 10 seconds without using her
tongue! So that was weird cuz I was like why did she say that?
Anyway Johnnie didnt mind a 10 second kiss! lol

Then Ella asked Johnnie and he said “dare.” But then she
whispered something to him! And he said “ok!” And I was like
whats up with that? Cuz u dont play the game that way. But she
said she was just kidding but they wouldnt tell us what she said.
Ill tell u more about that later. Anyway she dared him to give us
all a kiss so of course thats what he did.

Ill just tell u one more. It was my turn so I asked Johnnie “Truth
or Dare.” I wanted him to say truth and thats what he said! I
wanted to ask him what happened with Ella and him but then I
thought it might start an argument so I didnt. So I asked “what
did Ella whisper to u as a dare?” And Ella was like “dont tell
her!” She sounded really worried! And I was like why was she
so worried its just a game? But I said “u have to tell us thats ur
dare.” Then Wendi said “and she asked u in Truth or Dare so
we should know it anyway.” But Johnnie said he didnt hear it all
cuz she was whispering. But I was like if he didnt hear it then
why did he said ok?

Then Wendi said “tell us the part u did hear.” And Ella still said
dont tell them! Then Johnnie said “she asked me to touch her
but I didnt hear where.” But then Ella said “I said hug! I just
asked him to hug me.” But I was like if thats all she asked then
why did she whisper? And if he didnt hear where then why did
he say ok? So I dont know. I guess its ok if they have secrets
but they shouldnt do it in a Truth or Dare game!

Then Wendi said she thought I wanted to go to Mexis b-day
party and Johnnie would understand if I had to go. Johnnie said
that too. But really I wasnt planning to go anyway cuz its really
for the family. The Christmas party wasnt for Mexis birthday but
we sang happy birthday to him there. And then I was like if I left
how would they get home? Cuz if Johnnie brought them their
parents might see him and that could cause problems. He said
he could just drop them off like from in back or next door or
something and then it wouldnt be a problem. I said that was
sweet but I didnt mind staying anyway.

We werent there too much longer cuz Johnnie had to get ready
to go back home. I thought he was going back later tomorrow
but he said he had to leave really early. And really Ella and
Wendi had to get home cuz we were only supposed to be going
Christmas shopping. I got all mine done cept for one present
but Ill get that later. So we all gave Johnnie a huggie and kissie
and then I took them home.

Im glad I finally met Johnnie hes cool! And Im glad I met
Harmony too of course. But I really dont know if I want to meet
anybody else I know online. Cuz really it can be weird. I tell
everything I do so its really embarrassing meeting somebody
who already knows ur secrets. Its like Johnnie knows things
about me that Ella and Wendi dont even know! And even
though he didnt really tell Ella I post my diary online its like what
if somebody else does? Cuz I really dont want to show it to
everybody. And Mindy didnt even meet Johnnie cuz she was
too embarrassed! Cuz of course I write about her secrets too!

Maybe if I hadnt posted everything I do Mindy could have met
him! So is that fair to Mindy? And what if Laura was here
already? She might be too nervous to meet him too!

I dont think Ill post my diary online anymore after I turn 18. I
think Ill just post it the last day Im 17 and then thats it. Cuz even
if ppl dont know me what if they want to meet me? If they didnt
know all my secrets I might want to meet more ppl. And more
ppl definitely want to meet me even though some of them get
nasty! lol Of course really I dont care I flirt a lot online too. But
flirting and even getting nasty online is totally different from
doing it in person!