Lorien Loveshade's Private Diary November 27 to 30 2005

Sunday November 27 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Ok I wrote Saturday really long I think thats the most I ever
wrote for one day! And it took me three days to write it! lol But I
have to catch up.

Sunday guess what Becky wanted her and Germana and I to
do? Take a shower together! And I was like can we do that with
Uncle Oz and Aunt Lizzie here? But then Germana was like why
not? And really she was right. Cuz theyre very free about
things they date other ppl and they dont care who does what
with who as long as it harms none. So thats what we did!

So really it was fun! It was crowded with Germana and Becky
and I all in the same shower but it was still fun. I really wanted
to take a bath together but they wanted to do a shower. We
even washed each other a little but not much. Really we mostly
washed ourselves.

We had a good time with Uncle Oz and Aunt Lizzie but then it
was time to go back. Cuz of course we all had school the next
day.

But guess what I did when I got back? I found Speedo! I was
afraid hed be dirty but I forgot I wrapped him b4 I put him in the
box. They do that in the antique store if its something ud have
to clean if u didnt. So thats what they told me to do when I put
him away. I dont think Ive even had him out since I was 12. Its
funny cuz he looks smaller than I remembered him. Hes still
pretty big I think hes three feet long if u count his tail. So
Sunday night Mr Biggles was outside and Speedo slept with
me! lol

Monday November 28 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

My life is good right now but its really gotten strange! Im feeling
excited all the time! ;) But in some ways Im not really sure about
what I did with Becky and Germana. It was really hot but I dont
know if I want to do it again. Some things u just want to once.

Today Germana acted like everything was normal but thats
Germana. She likes to be in control whatever happens. But
Mindy is being really affectionate with me. Of course she
always is but I mean even more so even at school. I got lots of
hugs from her today which is sweet. I havent told her
everything that happened with Becky and Germana yet but I
will. I just havent had a chance!

Mindy said she had fun at her Aunt Hanahs until poor Flower
got sick! Shes ok now but still that sucks. But Mindy said it was
cute cuz Bobbie was taking care of Flower! He really likes her
and of course she likes him too. They havent said theyre
boyfriend and girlfriend yet but really we know they are!

I applied for one college but I still have two to do. I think Ill do
them tonight cuz I can apply for them online. I go to college now
of course but this will be full time!

later

U wont believe what happened! Its like everything in my life is
happening right now!

Goldina called me and guess what she told me? She talked to
Miss Sasha and Aunt Eva and Ice Falcon and Eagle Flame and
guess what? Theyre talking about making our Wiccan branch a
separate coven! And I was like what? Cuz thats why Catovida
left cuz he wanted to make us a separate coven and we didnt
want it!

But Goldina said this is different cuz Catovida just decided on
his own he didnt get permission. So really that is different. But
guess what else? They decided Germana and Wendi r ready to
be initiates! Yay! Really they thought that b4 but it wasnt totally
official. Goldina said they werent sure about Austra cuz shes so
young shes only 10. But they said that with so many ppl and
everything that maybe it was time for us to be our own coven.
But then I was like what about me? Cuz right now Im in my
coven and in our branch. But u cant be in two covens!

Then Goldina said “you would have to choose.” But I dont want
to cuz I really want to be in both! But she said its not a final
decision cuz everybody has to agree on it. But she wanted to
talk to me first cuz Im a Priestess. Really if I say no it wont
happen cuz it has to be unanimous.

I really like my coven! And of course Beckys in it and shes one
of my best friends and Herbies my ex-boyfriend but I still really
like him. I like everybody! But I really like my branch too. I dont
have to decide right now but Ill have to soon!

Tuesday November 29 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I didnt get much sleep last night cuz I was thinking about
everything thats been happening. I havent had a chance to tell
Mindy about what happened this weekend yet so of course I
havent posted it. And Ive been thinking a lot about my coven
and my branch.

Ive been in my coven for a long time its been four years. But I
moved away when I was a sophomore and I only go to their
ceremonies a few times a year. Theyre full now with 13
members but without me theyd have room for one more. I know
they said that was fine but really. Is it fair?

The leaders of my coven all agree that its ok. When Catovida
wanted to leave it was his own idea it wasnt done in a spirit of
harmony. And really I think the members of my branch who
didnt want us to be separate only said that cuz they didnt want
to totally break away and have ppl mad. But this time nobody
would be mad. And wed still be sister covens and they could
come to our ceremonies and we could go to theirs. Maybe not
every ceremony but some.

Right now my branch has all girls which isnt balanced. But
Goldina knows a guy who might be interested and I think Miss
Sasha knows somebody too. And if we had another guy then I
think Deno would start coming again. And maybe we could
even let Catovida and Olive come back! But I dont know if they
would.

I really dont want to leave my coven! But I guess in a way I
already have. It happened when I moved.

later

I forgot to write I applied to the other colleges today so now Ive
applied to all three! Mr. Lipton helped me hes a great
counselor. Now I have the SAT test on Saturday and Im totally
nervous about that! Really I should have taken it b4 I applied
but Mr. Lipton said thats ok a lot of students r doing it that way.
I just have to send in my results later. Not all the colleges have
Nov. 30 as a deadline but some of them do and I wanted to
apply b4 then.

Ok theres something else. I dont know why but Ive been
sleeping with Speedo again! I havent done that since I was 12. I
hope Deno doesnt get jealous! If u dont know Deno is my
stuffed unicorn I had since I was a kid I dont mean my friend
Deno! lol I have other stuffed animals of course but Speedo is
different. When I hug him and hold him I feel like a little girl
again. Ok if u must know sometimes I hold him between my legs
like I used to when I was little but thats all u need to know! lol

Wednesday November 30 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

This is awful! I finally got a chance to talk to Mindy about what
happened with Becky and Germana and me. I told her it was
just an experiment and that it didnt change anything about how
I felt about her. But she got really upset! I didnt want to do
anything to upset her! Shes my precious Tinkie I love her like a
sister. She was my sister and my friend and my baby in
different past lifes. Nobody can take away what I feel for Mindy!

But our relationship isnt sexual at all its spiritual. Becky and
Germana are my best friends too but its different. Nothing can
take away what I have with u Mindy! I liked what Becky and
Germana and I did but thats it. It was just an experiment! But
now I feel like I shouldnt have even done it. I feel really bad!

I had decided something about my coven but now I dont even
know. Im just making bad decisions! I decided to let our branch
be its own coven if thats what everybody wants. It would mean I
wouldnt be in both. But I cant be with my coven very much
anyway not since I moved and that was a few years ago. But
now I dont know! With Mindy upset I dont know what to do!

later

Guess whos here with me now? Mindy! Yay Mindy! She never
comes over Wednesday nights cuz of course I have Spanish so
its late. But she called me when I was in class and said she
really wanted to see me as soon as I got back? And then when
Uncle Frankie came to pick me up she was with him and gave
me a big hug! Isnt that sweet?

She said she thought about it and really shes not upset about
what I did with Becky and Germana. She doesnt want to do
anything sexual with me cuz that could totally change our
relationship. She suckles me and we do sharies together but
those r special types of sharing they arent having sex! But what
she was really upset about was she wants to do things like that
too. Not with me of course! So I asked her with who and she
doesnt know. Poor Mindy hasnt done much she hadnt even
French kissed until like a year ago. Oh she says it was Beltaine
last year so that was a year and a half ago. I didnt think it was
that long.

Ok its late and were going to go to sleep now. I wont hold
Speedo tonight Im holding Mindy! :)