Lorien Loveshade's Private Diary November 17 to 20 2005

Thursday November 17 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Germana wants me to spend the night at her place instead of
her staying here so I guess thats what well do. Germana and
Mindy switched nights cuz today is Imas b-day. I wished her
happy birthday of course! Caris is tomorrow.

I cant wait for Thanksgiving! I like having long breaks from
school! lol

later

U will straight up not believe what happened with Germana!
First I said I had to finish my homework cuz I had stuff due on
Friday. Im writing this Friday but this is what happened
Thursday. So then I had dinner with everybody cept Mexi wasnt
there. Germana and Austra told me about the esbat but of
course I already knew about it but thats ok. They said they
missed me and of course I missed them!

Anyway then Germana showed me some more bellydancing
moves. Really she showed me a lot of the same things again
cuz I forgot! Its weird cuz I get things from dance class mixed up
with bellydancing.

Anyway then we used the hot tub and it was just Germana and
me. She said she just finished her period and we were the only
two in there so we skinnydipped. Im a nudist of course but I was
thinking that Germana said whenever she gets naked with
somebody shes thinking about sex! :o She sat on my right and
first we just talked. But then its almost like she was flirting with
me and I was flirting back but it was just kidding.

But I looked at her and then I said “I wonder what it feels like to
have big boobs.” Cuz of course I barely fill an A cup but shes C
cup. Oh and if u dont know she has tatoos that look like daisies
around both of her areolas. But u wont believe what Germana
said. She said “why dont u feel them and find out?”

I thought she was just kidding. So I acted like I was going to
touch one of them. I thought she would pull away but she just
sat there. And then this I couldnt believe. She said “arent u
going to touch it?”

And I said “Germana I was just kidding! I wanted to know what it
feels like to have big boobs. I wasnt asking what it feels like to
touch big boobs!” lol

Then she said “if u touch them it will give u an idea what its like
to have them.” And really that made sense. Cuz of course Id
touch my own breasts! lol And then it didnt sound like a sex
thing it was just like an experiment. And really I wanted to touch
them. Of course she reads this but thats ok she already knows!
lol

So then I said “are u serious?” And she said “sure.” And then
she said “u and Mindy touch each other.” Of course thats true.
Mindy even suckles me but thats cuz she was my baby in a
past life. She doesnt have breasts yet but her nipples r sticking
out more theyre getting puffy. Shes starting to grow upstairs.
Downstairs she had like five lap hairs but she plucked them out
of course. She wants to wait til she has a lot cuz she thinks it
looks funny with just a few. Really I dont think it does i think its
cute but thats ok.

Anyway so then I moved my hand close to Germanas chest
again. I looked at her naked body and of course I was naked
too. She really has a nice body she has a lot of full curves. But
then I stopped. I looked at Germana but she was just relaxing
she looked like she wasnt paying any attention. And I was
thinking if I dont touch her soon it will be too hot and well have
to get out of the hot tub. And I didnt want to wait til we went to
bed cuz then I didnt know what would happen!

So I said “r u sure?” And she didnt say anything. I knew that
was cuz she already told me she was. So I reached my left
hand over. Im right handed but it was easier that way cuz she
was sitting on my right. I almost touched her left breast. But
then I stopped and she still wasnt paying attention. So then I
said “Germana?” And she said “yes?” And I said “Im going to
touch u now.” And she just said “ok.”

And then I moved my hand and I touched her breast! I barely
touched it at first but I could tell it was smooth and soft. Then
she said “u can touch it more than that!” So I touched it again. I
felt it and it felt very nice but different than mine. Mine r really
small of course thats why theyre firmer. Hers r big and soft and
a little firm but also a little squishy. I told her “ur breast feels
really nice.” Then I touched where the daisy tatoo goes around
her areola. Her areolas r big but the daisies make them look
even bigger. Then I said “can I touch ur nipple too?” And she
said “of course.” So I move my hand and I touched it! It was
totally sticking out but it grew even more when I rubbed my
finger over it! Her nipples are big and long. If she becomes a
Mommy some day her baby will be really lucky!

So then she said “u can touch the other one too.” So I moved
in the hot tub so I was in front of her. Then I touched her right
breast and nipple. I was really gentle but I liked feeling them.

But then I thought I knew what she was going to ask next. Cuz I
thought she was going to ask to touch mine! But thats not what
she said. Instead she said “u can touch me anywhere u want.”
And I was like OMG! Cuz she even moved her legs a little
farther apart so u know what she was thinking!

And then I said “Germana I really like touching ur breasts they
feel wonderful! But Im really not ready to do anything more.”
But then she told me “U said u wanted to experiment and this is
ur chance.” And of course I did say that. But really it was
getting too hot anyway cuz wed been in the hot tub for a long
time. So I just said “maybe next time.”

But then I didnt know what to say. So I said “do u want to touch
mine?” But she jsut said “maybe next time.” So that was it!

But then I was worried that she might be mad at me! So I asked
her and she said “Im not mad. U move a little slow but thats
you.” And really shes right. We talked about experimenting b4
but Im afraid to do anything! So thats all we did. We watched
TV and then slept in the guest room. We both slept in the same
bed but we wore sleepclothes and we didnt really cuddle. I
really like doing cuddles but Germana said to her cuddling
means sex! So we didnt.

I really like Germana shes one of my best friends. And it was
nice touching her upstairs. And its ok for her to touch me there
sometime too. But I dont think Im really ready to do more than
that. Not yet!

Friday November 18 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I spent all day today writing about yesterday so Ill make today
short! lol Germana and I didnt really do anything this morning
cuz we had to go to school. Really we didnt even talk about
what happened but I know we will later. But I really thought
about it cuz it was really special. Shes a great friends shes one
of the best!

She and Becky r going on the Thanksgiving timeshare with me
were going next Friday. Im glad Mommy and Matthew r going
but I wish Abbie wasnt. Mommy says hes just going as a friend
and Im like whatever. I know Mommy. Im sorry cuz I dont want to
talk bad about her. But if shes spending the night at a cabin
with some guy I know whats going to happen. But really I dont
care. Its Mommy life she can do what she wants. But I know
Daddy would be pissed if he knew even though hes the one
who moved out.

Ok Ill stop talking about that. Aunt Lizzie said she and Uncle Oz
r sharing a room, then Becky and Germana and I can have a
room, then Mommy and Matthew can have a room, and then
Abbie can have his own room. Really it doesnt make sense cuz
they said I could only have two friends and they didnt even
know Abbie was coming. I guess they wanted to leave a room
free for company. But I bet Abbies not going to sleep in a room
by himself anyway. Ok I said Id stop talking about it so Ill stop!

I wished Cari happy birthday shes 9 today. Ill see her for
Thanksgiving of course cuz Im not going to the timeshare til
Friday. Its cool cuz its by this lake we went to b4. But that was
when Daddy was still with us. I wish he and Mommy hadnt
gotten separated.

I wanted to see Harry Potter today cuz its the first day. But Im
seeing it with my cuzins so I got to wait til next week. We might
get a group to go.

later

Im on vacation! And tomorrow I can drive anybody I want! Yay!
U have to have ur drivers license for six months b4 u can drive
anybody younger without someone older with u. Im taking
Mindy somewhere to get something but she doesnt know what!
lol

Saturday November 19 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

This is really weird but I woke up and thought I had to go take
my SAT test! lol Its not for two weeks. Really I wish I took it
earlier but this gives me more time to prepare. And I have to
make a final decision what colleges Im applying to! Really I
should have done it already cuz I wont see my counselor next
week and I have to decide by Wednesday after that. I wish I
checked out Bennys college better and really some other
colleges too. There r so many colleges! I thought about going
to a different state like Ohio but it costs a lot more if u dont stay
in California. And of course we dont have much money. My
grades r good so I hope I get scholarships. Im applying for this
one where I have to write an essay. Anyway Mr. Lipton said I
should qualify for financial aid. Thats like the only good thing
about being poor! LMAO

Ppl think ur senior year is easy but it isnt! There is so much to
plan for. Its not just writing something for ur yearbook and prom
and getting ur senior photos done, its applying to college and
for financial aid and scholarships, and planning where ur going
to live, and getting a job cuz I cant babysit forever, and moving
and everything. And thats weird too cuz I dont want to move! I
mean I dont care if I move out of the antique store even though
really I like being here. But I dont want to move far away from
my friends! But a lot of them will be gone too. I dont know
where Germana is going or Kayla, but Mindy will still be here
and so will Ella, Carol, Wendi and my Wiccan branch. And even
though I cant see them all the time I still dont want to move
away from my coven either. And of course Becky but who
knows where shell be. I hope she graduates! Shes really
having problems with her grades. I wish I could tutor her but its
just too far away. I told her to get counseling at her school I
hope she does it.

Anyway I have to decide which three colleges Im applying to.
Right now I have like 10 Im thinking about. Really I think I know
which three Im just not sure yet. One of them is really close but
the other two arent. One of them is Bennys college which is
weird cuz he wont even be going there much longer. Hes
graduating really soon even though the graduation wont be til
next year. But hes taking his last classes. Mr. Lipton said cuz Im
getting good grades at junior college that should help me a lot
in getting in the college I want. I hope so!

Ok I have to go pick up Mindy so we can get her surprise! ;)

later

I finally got to drive Mindy somewhere without somebody older
with me! And u wont believe what we got for her. Diapers! lol

If u dont know Mindy wants to wear a diaper but shes been
afraid to. I knew it for a long time of course but I didnt post it in
my diary cuz she didnt want anybody to know. But I was like
nobody who knows her IRL reads my diary cept Germana and
Becky who already know, and Laura and Harmony who wont
think anything bad about it.

Mindy wanted to change her mind again but I was like no way
Mindy! I told her I would get them so nobody would know they
were for her. She wanted to make up this whole story about
how she was getting them for her great grandmother or
something but I was like Mindy. Nobody at the store is going to
ask us who were buying diapers for! So then we get to the
store and then she said she didnt know where to find them so
maybe we better leave. And I was like Mindy adult diapers r
right by where the napkins and tampons r. But she said she
didnt know that cuz of course hasnt had a period yet.

Then she said she didnt think we could find her size cuz theyd
just have them for babies or for adults who r a lot bigger than
her cuz shes small. And really the sizes for adults that were
marked were too big. But they had some that said one size
would fit everybody! So thats what we got. She was going to
give me the money b4 we got to the register but I said no Mindy
Ill buy them.

Really I liked getting them for her. Cuz she was my baby in a
past life so of course I had to get diapers for her then! She
doesnt want to keep them at her house cuz she doesnt want
her family to know. But its not a prob cuz were keeping them at
my crib and really thats where well be using them anyway. I
asked if she wanted to try one on but she said she wasnt ready
yet. But thats ok. Shes still nervous poor Mindy! But she
emailed the guy who wears diapers to ask him what she should
do. I know hell say just do what she wants cuz its all her
decision!

Its kewl that we got them but really its funny. Its the first day I
could drive just Mindy somewhere so we could have gone
anywhere. But what we did was go to the store and buy
diapers! lol But really its kewl. This way Mindy wouldnt have to
be embarrassed cuz nobody else was with us.

Sunday November 20 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I decided something today. Im going to decide which colleges Ill
apply to by the day b4 Thanksgiving. I have until the week after
to apply but I dont want to wait til the last minute. And really I
think I already know anyway.

I helped at the store today which really I dont do very often.
They have Page, Perry, Aunt Ebee, and Uncle Frankie and
really thats more ppl than they need. Aunt Ebee has been
trying to find a job but its hard. And really its nice having them
close. If u dont know they all live together and Mommy and
Matthew do too. The only ones who dont r Daddy and me. I
wish Daddy would move back in with Mommy. But thats straight
up not going to happen if shes dating Abbie!

I hope when I get married I never get divorced. Really I dont
even know if I want to get married or not. If I do it wont be til
after I graduate from college. Really I think I want to work for
awhile after college b4 I even think about it. Its like if the guy
cant wait hes not worth it! lol I mean wait to get married I dont
mean wait to have sex! lol I dont know. But I think if I loved the
guy I wouldnt want to wait til I was married. Somebody said its
like if ur buying a car u want to test drive it first. U really should
find out if ur compatible.

But Im nervous about having sex for the first time. Dont worry I
dont even have a boyfriend I am NOT having sex! LMAO But
still I think about it. At least I broke my cherry thank Goddess! If
u dont know breaking ur cherry can mean breaking ur hymen it
doesnt have to mean losing ur virginity. Sometimes ur hymen
can grow back but mine wont as long as I keep practicing with
Mr. Ballistic! LMAO If u know dont thats my 6 inch dildo. I call
the 12 inch one Mr. XXXmas cuz I got it for Christmas. I havent
really used that one yet cuz its so big around.

Ok like u really want to hear about my dildos! LMAO But I know
ppl do. I get more emails when I write about sex stuff than I do
anything else! lol But thats ok. I know ppl want to read about it
and I do too! ;)