| OcToBeR 1 - 7 2005 |
| Saturday October 1 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS Today was a busy day! It was funny cuz Bobbie and the rest of Mindys family made us all breakfast in bed! Of course we put something on b4 we opened the door! lol Bobbie was so excited about Flower going to the movies with them. And Flower was too! Its funny cuz its like Bobbie was saying over and over that he was glad Flower was going with Mindy when really u know he was thinking about her going with him! Mindy planned to get them sitting together so I have to find out what happened. later Ok we talked to Mindy. She said Bobbie and Flower sat next to each other and she thinks they almost held hands! But it was funny cuz Bobbie got totally nervous. Mindy said he was nervous about everything! lol B4 they went he asked Mindy what Flower liked to talk about. But then he said he was just doing it to make her comfortable! lol It was cute I wish I was there to see it! I spent time with Daddy and my cuzins of course. I really miss Daddy. I wish he and Mommy would work things out. But they both want the other one to do all the work and that straight up wont work! If ur partners u have to work as partners u cant wait for the other person to do something. Cuz if u both do that then nothing will happen. Ok Becky wants me to tell u about Cassies bang. I guess its for her birthday I dont know. She and Micky r having a party the week b4 Halloween and its going to be totally wild! But I dont know if I want to go. Cassie used to have some really kewl parties. The ones that she and her little sister Lindsey had for just girls were some of the best parties I ever went to. It was like a spiritual sharing with sisters. But Cassies parties havent been like that in a long time. Ppl get drunk and jacked and do whatever and whoever! Theyre like orgies! Ive been totally drunk now but thats when I knew Id be safe. If Becky and I both get drunk then whos going to keep an eye on us? Cuz really u shouldnt get drunk or high unless ur with ppl u can trust. So I dont know. But I am curious! Becky and Hunter have been to them b4 of course but I never went to one with Herbie. We went to Cassies parties of course but not like they r now! I really miss Herbie. I know I made the right decision to be free for a while cuz I have to discover what I want. But I still miss him! I wish I could see him this weekend but maybe I will next weekend. Ok Becky says I keep writing Im going to make my diary short so stop writing so much! lol Sunday October 2 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS My coven really wants to make Dolphinia an Initiate and our 13th member on Samhain. I have to talk to my branch and see if everybody can make it. Its a great day to do it cuz its the Wiccan New Year. Shell be our last member! Daddy wants me to spend more time with him when I come out but he never does anything! All I can do with him is have dinner and watch TV. I like baseball and other sports ok but really the only ones I usually watch much r the World Series and Superbowl Sunday. I should go to more games at my high school I never go. later Becky and I saw Herbie and his family! If u dont know theyre Miss Sasha whos his grandma who sponsors my Wiccan branch, Lena whos his mom whos Miss Sashas daughter, and Stacy his little sister whos 12. And I got to see Carie whos Stacys best friend she just turned 12. So I finally got to wish her happy birthday. Shes a great girl I used to babysit her when she was little. Stacy and Carie r both dancers and gymnasts. Stacy just does it for fun but Carie is totally serious about gymnastics! We expect to see Carie doing gymnastics in the Olympics someday! Shes won a lot of competitions and she usually comes in first or second. She even has a professional coach whos really good but I dont really know him. I wish Herbie would do his magic more hes really good! Becky said their high school is having a talent show but Herbie didnt sign up! I hope its not cuz he was depressed cuz he misses me. This month will be two months since we broke up. Herbie is a great guy and a great friend I hope hes doing ok! But he acted happy to see me. Monday October 3 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I think Ive had enough training in peer counseling I want to start counseling! I already took Psychology in college. Deno is still asking me when we can go out again! I told him I wanted to go on a date with somebody else first really Mindy told him. But now hes asking me did I go out with anybody else yet? Its weird cuz I got a guy who wants me to date somebody else! lol Of course thats just cuz then he knows Ill go out with him again. But I dont know who! Nobodys asking me on any dates. Germana said its cuz the guys think I still have a boyfriend! But if they saw me go to the dance with Deno then theyd know I dont! I have guys who know me online who want to meet me. But I dont know. I dont want to meet anybody I know online unless I know them really well! later Germanas with me right now! I dont like being alone on Mondays cuz the stores empty all day. I wish theyd fix it so I have a real window in my bedroom then it wouldnt be so quiet. I really have to do more homework but Germana said we could both do some later. We just had dinner with my family which was weird. Mommys dated American a couple times of course she used to date him a lot. But now shes talking about going out with this guy who comes to the restaurant! His name is Abbie but I dont really know him. He works at this motel thats close to the Dennys where Mommy works. I wish Mommy would try to work things out with Daddy! later Germana doesnt like me writing my diary when shes here cuz she doesnt want to watch so Im writing this Tuesday. She looked at my new dildo and then she talked about helping me use it! And really shes the only one who can. But u know my period always starts close to the new moon or right on it and this is the new moon! So it cant happen now! lol We had just a really small ceremony for the new moon and I think Mindy had one with Ella and Carol. My coven has esbats for the new moon but my branch doesnt. I really like Germana shes one of my best friends but I wished my other friends could have been here for it too. Germana asked when can she start teaching Mindy and I belly dancing? I really want to learn and so does Mindy but I dont know when. I am so busy! I wish I didnt have so much to do. Tuesday October 4 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I have to keep my diary short so I have time to do homework! Ok Im just going to write one thing about today and thats it! I can eat my lunch in my Social Studies class! I had to eat on the bus which sucked. Really I dont want to eat in class either but I dont have any time to eat lunch if I dont! Ok thats it I have to do homework I am totally behind! Wednesday October 5 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I have to spend more time with the members of my branch and Mindy has an idea how I can do it! Im supposed to be a tutor so I should be teaching them more. Of course I dont mean High Priestess Goldina! lol But I should be tutoring Germana, Austra, Mindy, Ella, Carol, Wendi, and even Kayla and Deno if they want me to. So Mindy said why dont we have a class? Cuz that way I could tutor them all at once! And of course Goldina can too she knows more than me. But I dont know when! I have to find a time everybody can do it and really thats hard cuz everybodys busy. later Ok I have to explain some things again! So everybody listen! lol I am not meeting anybody I know online unless I know them REALLY well. I met Harmony but I knew him online for five years! Even if I knew u for a long time I am not meeting u alone at ur house Im sorry! If I meet anybody it will be somebody Ive known for a really long time and it will be when Im with somebody else. I tell my secrets in my diary which is why I use pseudonyms. If I meet somebody who reads my diary then theyll know all my secrets! I am not going to schedule when Ill be flashing on webcam! And Im not going to try my dildo when u can watch! And Im not going to make out with one of my best friends so u can watch either! I havent flashed on webcam for a long time cept once. I might do it again but I dont know when! And Im not doing it for somebody who reads my diary unless I know them REALLY well. Cuz otherwise they would see me and know all my secrets and thats too embarrassing! I might flash really good online friends who dont read my diary cuz they dont know my secrets anyway. But if u read my diary then dont ask! I am not having some guy help me break my hymen Im sorry! And Im not having some girl help me either cept one of my BEST FRIENDS! I have some really good friends online and IRL so dont think ur not a great friend! But my best friends r Laura, Becky, Mindy, Germana, and Harmony thats it. And the only one of those whos going to help me is Germana. So if u arent Germana or one of my other best friends then dont even ask! Thursday October 6 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS Its weird living by myself. I still have dinner with my family and I still see them cuz of course Page and Perrys house is right by the antique store. But Im still living by myself. If I didnt have my online friends and hadnt joined the secret club Id go crazy! lol Its weird though cuz in some ways Id rather live with Mommy and Matthew but only if Daddy was still there. I really miss Daddy. But at least I see him on weekends. Really I like my apartment I just wish I had a bathtub and a real window. Mindy says I can use the bathtub at her house anytime cuz of course her parents have a big tub. But it would easier here. But my shower is so small it can barely fit two ppl. Mindy and I bump into each other like all the time in there! With a bathtub u get a bigger shower. later U wont want believe what Mindy and I just got invited to. A nudist Halloween party! Isnt that kewl? And guess whos going to be there? Flower and her family r going and Aunt Lizzie and Uncle Oz r going too! I dont see Uncle Oz very much so I have to go. And now that Mindys a nudist she can go too! Its funny cuz its a nudist party but u still wear a costume! lol Its like we did at the World Nude Bike Ride u wear bodypaint so ur costume is painted on. It should be fun! And its on the Saturday b4 Halloween which is good cuz of course were spending real Halloween with my coven. My branch and my coven r getting together to accept Dolphinia as a member! So we have a lot of parties to go to! And of course homecoming is really soon and I still dont know what Im doing for that. I know Deno wants to know. I havent even been thinking about it I even got mixed up on the weekend. And I have to catch up on homework and I have to get ready for the SAT test. I have too much to do! later I feel so bad! Today is the anniversary of when I met Mindy and I forgot the date! She didnt even remind me til we were taking our shower. I write the dates down for everything so I dont know why I didnt check it! I was thinking about it being two months since I broke up with Herbie but its also the two year anniversary of when I met Mindy. She came to the antique store and I saw her there. I was 15 1/2 and she was just 12. She knew right away we would be great friends I wish I knew! Of course were soulmates through the ages. She thought of me as Cuppy right away which was her name for me in a past life. I call her Tinkie but thats new. I love u Tinkie! Friday October 7 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I got some more things I wrote with somebody thats posted on a website but I wont tell u where! lol Really I use a pseudonym so nobody will know who I am. But Ill give u a hint. U can find it from my website! ;) We have homecoming coming up already so I have to think about that too! I know Deno wants to go with me. But really I should date somebody else. I wish somebody would ask me on a date! later Im with Becky and she says why dont I ask somebody else on a date? Really I should. I dont know why I never ask guys. Of course girls can ask guys too! But really I dont know who to ask. Its like most of the guys at school dont even talk to me very much. I used to have a lot of friends who were guys I dont know why I dont now. Of course I do online but I mean IRL. And homecoming is special especially cuz its my senior year! I dont want to ask just any guy. Oh Becky said Cassies party has changed and this could be a prob! Shes having it next Saturday and thats Pippys b-day party! Im one of the planners for Pippys party so I have to go. Really I wasnt sure if I was going to Cassies party anyway. Cassie is really kewl but I dont think Im ready for a totally wild bang. I like parties but not orgies! LMAO j/k Becky and Hunter r both going. Im with Becky but Im sorry I straight up dont understand their relationship. Theyre boyfriend and girlfriend but they decided to date other ppl! And Im like how can u be boyfriend and girlfriend and go out with somebody else? Becky says its their choice and really thats true. If it harms none do as you will. So its kewl for Becky but I wouldnt want to do it. But thats ok! |
| Copyright 2005 by Lorien Loveshade |
| My DiArY! |
| I miss my ex boyfriend! |
| No guys I know IRL r asking me out! |
| Mommys talking about dating some guy and Germanas talking about helping me with my dildo! |
| Budding preteen romance! |
| Do I want to go to a totally wild bang? |
| Our coven will have its 13th member! |
| Caries only 12 years old but she might be an Olympic gymnast! |
| I can eat lunch in Social Studies isnt that exciting? |
| I might have a Wicca class! |
| My shower is so small it can barely fit two ppl |
| I am not meeting anybody I know online unless I know them REALLY well. |
| Dont ask me to use my dildo or make out with a friend on webcam! |
| Today is the anniversary of when I met Mindy! |
| Party and date plans |
| Breakfast in bed |
| Dont ask me if u can help me break my hymen! |