Lorien Loveshade's Private Diary September 4 to 6 2005

Sunday September 4 2005

Dear Mr Biggles

Now Ill tell u what happened when I woke up. Becky and I were both
in her parents bed. We were lying with our butts touching each other
but thats not what was weird. My top was gone! And I looked at
Becky and hers was off too! And I was like I dont remember ever
taking my T shirt off! Of course it wasnt a prob but still it was really
weird. Its like how can u go to sleep in ur panties and a T shirt and
wake up in just ur panties? But I guess thats just part of being drunk!
Im glad I wasnt with some guy I didnt know! LMAO

I felt a little funny when I woke up but I wasnt sick or anything and
neither was Becky. She wanted to get up and do something right
away but I wanted to go back to sleep! lol Anyway we decided to
have breakfast in bed! But we didnt have anybody to bring it to us!
Becky said she couldnt wait til they had their dog cuz then theyd have
somebody to fetch! And I was like I straight up dont want a dog
carrying my breakfast in its mouth! LMAO

Oh I want to tell u the advise I got about living in the apartment in the
antique store and also about college. Harmony said I answered my
own question about college! Cuz I said taking English in high school is
better than taking it in college cuz I dont have to run around all day
long on Thursday. And that way I wont miss Mabon! So I have to see
if Ms. Gaines will still let me take her English class I hope she does!
Cuz Ive already missed a lot. Of course I dont have any classes
Monday.

Then Dena said I shouldnt feel scared in the antique store I should feel
safer! She said theres locks on the outside doors of the store right?
And then I also have locks on my door! So a burglar would have to
break into the store then go past all the antiques to break into my
room and theres two locks on my room! She said if I just lived in a
house a burglar would have to get through the front door and thats it!
So really I guess it is safer!

Then Harmony said he think I decided too fast. He said I should live in
the store for a week and then see how I feel. I dont know if this
weekend counts cuz Im not there. Becky says it doesnt but I dont
know. Anyway I hope it gets better!

later

Guess what Beckys doing? Shes writing a blog! Shes never kept a
diary b4! Oh she says she had to keep a journal in school but thats it.
But shes keeping one as Crystal! She said she might even post it on
my site which would be kewl. Hers wont be as long as mine cuz she
doesnt write as much as me really I write too much. Oh now shes
says she has to be wild so she has something to write about! lol

Its weird too cuz Becky doesnt do a lot of homework and I do but
she spells better than me! lol Of course I use words like u and ur and
ppl but she usually doesnt I dont know why. If u dont know what
those r look in my Slang Guide. And of course I dont like punctuation
marks I only use those in my homework not in my diary. Ok Becky
says nobody cares about my punctuation! lol

I dont know what were doing tonight cuz Kay and Beth wont be back
til Monday. Probably something really wild! LMAO j/k

later

Guess who I met? I met the girl who might be our new member! She
came over and of course Becky knows her. I dont write the names of
ppl who might join our coven until they do but I know shes joining!
Her Wiccan names Dolphinia. Everybody else thinks shes kewl but I
had to meet her cuz we dont accept anybody unless its unanimous.
She goes to my old high school which is of course the one Becky and
Herbie go to. She really likes fantasy and of course I do too. She
really likes mermaids and dragons and dolphins. Dolphinia keeps a
blog too I guess thats why Crystal wants to do one! lol And shes
really serious about Wicca she wants to use it to heal ppl.

Dolphinia said she hates the nickname her family calls her which is
sad. But she doesnt get sad a lot she said shes usually happy and
smiling! Thats kewl. I guess thats why Becky likes her and I like her
too! Shes a kewl person and I think shell make a great member! Shes
number 13 so shes the last!

later

Guess what we did? We babysat all my little cuzins so Denise and
Nolan could spend some time alone together! Really it was fun. Kay
and Beth werent here of course theyll be back Monday. But guess
who babysat with us? Herbie and Jude and Dolphina helped too! And
they even helped me plan Kimberly’s b-day party and even the kids
helped. They want to go too! lol Charlotte and Gus want Kimberlys
10th b-day party to be totally special so its kewl they hired me as their
party planner! Of course I got most of it planned already.

Anyway then we took all my little cuzins to see a movie! We had to
have two cars so Becky drove with Jude and Dolphinia and Darby and
Casey, and Herbie drove with me riding shot gun and Gracie and Cari
in the back. We saw Valiant which the kids already saw b4 but its a
cute movie. They have to deliver this top secret message and of
course everything goes wrong. I didnt like it as much as the Shrek
movies but it was still cute. Casey got scared once and I talked to her
and she was fine! The movie wasnt scary but I guess it can be if ur 3.

Then we went back and went swimming! Everybody swam! So that
was fun. Dolphinia really likes swimming in the deep end I guess thats
why she named herself after a dolphin! lol Shes kewl. She even helped
us make dinner shes a great cook! Anyway then she went home.

Then Becky and Jude and Herbie and I all danced! Of course weve all
taken dance in high school so were hot dancers! lol I wish we were
all in the same dance class again. Becky brought out the beer and the
alcopop but Jude doesnt really drink and Herbie doesnt drink much
either. But really thats good! Ive only been really drunk once that was
Saturday night of course. It was kewl but I dont want to do it all the
time I dont want to be an alcoholic!

Then we watched TV and talked which was fun. Theyre great friends!

But guess what Herbie and Jude did? They spent the night with Becky
and me! Its like Daddy cant say anything about what he doesnt know!
lol Of course we didnt all sleep together so dont think that! lol Herbie
can do whatever he wants he has to follow his own rules. And of
course Becky was alone and my Mommy and Daddy didnt know
what I was doing! lol I think Jude just said he was spending the night
with Herbie Im not sure. Anyway Becky and I slept in her parents bed
again and Herbie and Jude slept in Beckys room. Its kewl too cuz
Becky and I r best friends and Herbie and Jude r best friends too. Of
course I have more than one best friend cuz Im greedy! lol

Becky and I did cuddles together which was sweet. But when we did
kissies I think she wanted to French me again! That Becky is such a
hoochie! LMAO j/k

Monday September 5 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Guess what Herbie, Jude, Becky, and I decided to do? We went to the
park and had a picnic! Isnt that kewl? There were a lot of ppl there of
course. Its funny cuz it seemed like we should have fireworks! lol We
even acted like kids it was fun! Its like ur never too old to be a kid. A
lot of teenagers r totally self concious so they try to act adult all the
time. But if ur really mature u dont have to! LMAO We even had a
food fight! lol

Becky wanted to drink again and I was like Becky were kids we dont
drink! lol Really Herbie doesnt drink very much and Jude doesnt
either. I dont know cuz getting drunk was fun but its not like I want
to do that all the time! Really I think u can have more fun if u arent
drunk. I might get drunk at a party or something. But only if theres
ppl there I can trust.

Then we talked about marijuana. Herbie and I havent even smoked it
yet and Jude did just a little but he said he didnt really like it. Becky
didnt either. But I guess thats cuz they both move a lot. Jude said I
might like it cuz it would fit my personality and Herbie might like it
too. So maybe I might I dont know. Really I think Ill try it sometime
just to see what its like but I dont care very much. I know Cassie
smokes it a lot.

I didnt see a lot of my friends this weekend I wish I saw more! I told
Cassie Ill see her next time Im here cuz shes a great friend. I wish
Lindsey was still here too I really miss her. If u dont know shes
Cassies little sister.

We thought about going swimming again but I guess everybody was
all swam out! lol

But guess what we did? We found this free outdoor concert so we
danced! It was a lot of fun! Of course were all dance students!
Herbies a good dancer and so is Becky. Im ok but Jude is really good!
He might even be professional some day. It was kewl cuz sometimes
ppl actually stopped dancing and watched us! That was totally kewl.
Herbie said we had our own dance concert! lol

This was embarrassing cuz there was this guy named Lonnie and he
kept wanting to dance with me! Hes really tall and said he sells real
estate. It sounds like hes rich! Really that doesnt matter but he was
kewl. I just felt sorry for Herbie! Cuz when Id look at Herbie I could
tell he was watching us. Lonnie gave me his cell phone number and
his email but I dont know if Ill call him or not. I guess I can cuz Im
free now! lol

But Becky had a lot of guys talking to her! But it got confusing cuz
we didnt know if she was being Becky or Crystal! Really that was
funny at first but now it just gets confusing. I think she should just be
Becky at least if shes close to where she lives. If she wants to be
somebody else on vacation thats ok but not at home!

I know shes going to read this but thats ok I already told her this. But
really Im getting a little worried about her! Shes acting a lot different
than she used to. Shes a lot wilder and I wonder why. Really I think I
know why and I told her I think its cuz of losing her Daddy. She said
thats not why and its just cuz shes growing up. But I dont know. Im
sorry I love u Becky but really I wish Crystal would just go on
vacation!

I saw Kay and Beth a little but not a lot. Theyre still talking about
moving I hope they dont! Really if they moved closer to me that
would be kewl but they want to stay close to where they r so Kay can
keep the same job and Becky can graduate from the same high school.
Shes gone there three years so it would suck to start another school in
her senior year! I hope they dont move out cuz their house is so kewl!
And of course I love the pool and the jacuzzi. I even remember when
they put them in.

I thought Kay wanted to move cuz the house payments were too high
with Leon gone. But now I think I know why she really wants to
move. Its cuz everything there reminds her of Leon! They moved into
the house together and theyd worked a long time to get it. Then they
did remodeling and then they built the pool and the jacuzzi. So its like
a lot of themselves is built into the house. And of course it reminds
Becky and Beth too.

Its weird cuz I really miss my Daddy I wish he still lived with us. But
hes still here and I can see him any weekend. And really in some ways
Im almost glad he doesnt live with Mommy cuz I got so tired of their
fighting. I know it wasnt my fault that he moved cuz really its never
the childrens fault. Its always the parents who just cant work things
out. But Beckys parents got along all the time. And she cant ever see
her Daddy again.

I really should see my Daddy more. I think he wants me to come out
every weekend but I dont. I love my Daddy and I love my cuzins too.
But I dont want to be there every weekend! It gets crazy there with
the kids running around all the time. I babysit five days a week I dont
want to do it on the weekends too! And its too crowded with all of
them and Daddy and me there too. I think if Daddy had his own
apartment Id want to spend more weekends with him. But still not
every one! I have friends I want to see too.

But then I think about Becky and Beth and Kevin and Joni. Theyd give
anything to be able to see their Daddy for a whole weekend again.
And of course Kay would give anything to see him again too. I really
have to tell Daddy I love him more. He never says it to me but I know
he does. But I need to tell him that more. I love u Daddy! But of
course he wont read this.

Oh this is kewl. I should write him a poem! Daddys really not into
poetry but I know hed like it if I wrote it for him. He says gifts u
make urself come from the heart. He used to tell me that all the time
when I was little. But sometimes I forget that.

later

U wont believe it! I went back to my apartment which of course is
really just a room and a bathroom in the antique store. And at first it
seemed too quiet so I played some music. I thought about missing
everybody and being all by myself. But then I thought about living
with Mommy and Daddy and how theyd fight. And then even about
living with Mommy and Page and Perry and Aunt Ebee and Uncle
Frankie and Matthew. Then I remembered how Mommy complains a
lot and then sometimes she and Page get in big arguments and
Matthew cries and Perry rants about the government all the time. And
Aunt Ebee doesnt feel well or gets quiet and Uncle Frankies always
running around trying to make her happy and if hes not doing that
then hes teasing me about things. And I thought I am really glad Im
by myself!

Dont think I dont love them all cuz I do! I like visiting everybody and
I like having dinner with the family cuz we all eat together which is
kewl. Its like nobody else does that but Perry says thats the way it
used to be. Oh Germanas family does that too and really Mindys does
a lot. But Im happy Im not living with them all the time! And I didnt
have interruptions all the time. I didnt do much homework which
sucks but I got everything figured out for Kimberlys b-day party.
Shes going to have a great party and it is so kewl getting paid to plan a
party!

So I went to bed and I felt happy! I really did!

And really Im totally secure. Cuz somebody would have to break into
the store and u know Perry has really good security. He always thinks
the government is up to something and u cant trust anybody so the
store is totally secure. And then even if they did get in theyd have to
find my room which really u cant even tell its a room its just a door
and theres a lot of doors. And its in a part of the store where there
really isnt very much thats worth anything and almost nobody even
goes there much.

And even if a burglar got in the store hed have to break through two
more locks to get in my room! And if he tried to I would totally hear
him and really Id hear an alarm when he first broke into the store! So
the police would be here b4 he ever got to my room! And I could call
911 so theyd get here even faster. So really I am more secure here
than I was at the apartment! And my room here is bigger. I still wish I
had a bathtub but I couldnt hardly ever use it at the apartment
anyway. I had to go to Mindys to take a long bath. And I can still go
to Mindys! And I can have anybody I want spend the night here and
nobody will even know! And on Mondays nobodys even here so I
could have someone here all day and they wouldnt know! So really I
think staying here is kewl!

Tuesday September 6 2005

Dear Mr Biggles

My schedule is totally not working! I decided to take English in high
school fourth period instead of in college on Thursday night. I asked
Ms. Gaines if it was ok if I came back to her class and she said shed
love to have me back! She said I had to catch up on the work I
missed but thats ok. But the prob is that meant I had to leave high
school and go straight to college then had Social Studies and then
went straight to Charlottes to babysit Kimberly and Rodney. So I didnt
have time to eat lunch until like 3 oclock! So this totally wont work.
But if I take English at college on Thursday nights then thats totally
crazy too! And Id miss Mabon! I wish I had a car it would make it so
much easier.

I didnt even do much homework all weekend so Im in a new school
year and its even my senior year and I am totally behind! Why didnt I
do my homework? That was so stupid! And I still dont have time! I
have to plan for Page and Perrys b-day on Friday even though really
they never want to do much. But Saturday is Kimberlys b-day party
and thats taking a lot of planning! Charlotte and Gus want her 10th b-
day to be really special which is kewl but its a lot of work! The only
good part is Im getting paid for helping so Im a professional party
planner now! Then next weekend is crazy too! I got the dance on
Friday, then Sunday my branch is all going to join my coven for
Chipmunks elevation so we have that to plan for that too. I am
straight up too busy!

later

I cant believe I forgot to tell u the rest of my news. Charlotte likes all
my plans for Kimberlys b-day party! Really I only wanted to change a
couple things the rests already set. I wish I could have gotten Whitney
to be a birthday clown or Herbie to be a magician but thats ok. I know
the kids will love swimming and Kimberly really likes having the
slumber party but that parts just for the girls. Its funny cuz I think
Mindy and I r as excited about it as Kimberly! lol It should be a great
party!