| JuLy 30 - 31 2005 |
Saturday July 30 2005
Dear Mr BiGgLeS
My life has gotten totally weird. Laura and I r going back today to see
my old school friends. I think Beckys picking us up or maybe Herbie.
I am still totally confused about Herbie!
I wish I knew what I really wanted. But how do u know? Sometimes
it seems like I want things that r totally different. Like I want to be
with Herbie and date just him. But then I also want to not have a
boyfriend so I can date other ppl. And then I know this is weird but I
also feel like I want to date Herbie and date other ppl too! Please dont
think Im a hoochie cuz Im not! But I like to date and there r guys who
like me! Herbie of course and Deno and I think maybe Allen! And
theres three guys online who r really flirting with me too!
And then I thought something really weird. Allen is Mindys cuzin. Ok
so Im not really thinking this cuz this is totally not real. But what if I
married Mindys cuzin? Really it wouldnt have to be Allen it could be
somebody else. Im just using Allen as an example thats all. But like
what if I really liked Allen and he really liked me and we got married.
Then would I be Mindys cuzin? Really that would be kewl. But dont
think anything cuz Im straight up not ready to marry anybody! lol
later
Today was really weird! Ill have to tell u what happened with Herbie
but Ill tell u that later.
First Becky was totally late. Laura and I were waiting for like hours!
Ok Becky says it wasnt that long really it wasnt. And Becky says its
not her fault and I know it wasnt so ok Ill shut up.
Anyway so finally Becky got here and we left. And then Becky almost
ran out of gas! I was like Becky the gas tank says empty! And she
said she didnt want to stop and it wasnt that far and wed make it fine.
And I was like Becky stop and get some gas! I dont want to walk for
50 miles! Then finally Laura said she had to use the restroom so we
had to stop for gas. Becky is one of my best friends but some times
shes crazy!
Ok then heres something else thats weird. Becky wants me to tell u
about the guys who r flirting with me online! Really a lot of guys do
they flirt with Becky too. I know they would with Laura if she got
online more cuz shes sweet and shes really pretty.
Anyway first I have a friend online but I wont say who he is cuz its
private. Hes a good friend but hes writing me really sexy emails! But I
dont know if hes seriously macking on me or if hes just kidding. I
showed his emails to Becky and Laura cuz he said I could. And he
really says some nasty things about Becky! I dont mean mean things I
mean sexy things. Ok Becky just said something really nasty but I
straight up am not going to write it! lol Laura thinks hes serious but I
dont know. He also wants to help me edit Ella and Wendis story so I
guess Ill send it to him. I know he reads this so hell know what Im
writing which is embarrassing. Im not mad or anything cuz hes
sweet. But I really dont know what he wants! I know he wants me to
call him on the phone but I dont know.
And then theres this other guy who sends me lots of pics. Some of
them r him and he shows me everything! :o lol Of course a lot of
guys do that especially on webcam. But really I always like getting
pics of my friends. So if ur my friend send me some pics of u! Ive
sent him pics of me too but not like the ones he sends to me! lol Some
of the photos he sends me r of other ppl and theyre hot! They arent
like a lot of pics theyre romantic but theyre also really sexy. I showed
them to my friends cuz he doesnt care who sees his photos and a lot
of them arent him anyway. And he wants to call me!
Oh and I should explain something cuz otherwise everybody will ask
me. I do NOT send pics of me to ppl who read my diary! That would
be totally embarrassing cuz I tell everything I do in my diary but thats
only cuz nobody knows me IRL. But if I sent them a pic then its like
knowing me IRL! He doesnt read my diary so thats why I could send
him pics. So if u read my diary dont ask me for my photo!
Then theres this other guy who lives in California like me. Hes kewl
too and I think hes a little shy. But not too shy cuz he asked me to
come to his house! Hes creative and I like emailing him and he posts
in one of my old websites even though I might just close it. I like my
old site but I really want to work more on my new one cuz its bigger
and its professional. Oh and the site that I show my friends IRL but
that one I dont post my diary. Ppl I know online see it too of course. I
think Ill just keep those two sites. Anyway I think he likes me too! I
havent let my friends read his emails cuz he didnt say I could. I really
respect ppls privacy. Oh and if u dont know I didnt go to his house. I
think hes kewl but I havent met anybody IRL that I knew online cept
Harmony and I knew him for five years. And I met him in public with
Mindys family not at his house. So I dont know.
Ok I dont want to talk about that anymore and Becky wants to do
something else even though its too late and we should all go to bed
Becky! lol
later
I still have a lot to tell u! Ok I wont tell u everything that happened
with Becky and Laura and me cuz I want to tell u about Herbie. Herbie
picked me up for our date. It was our last date b4 our anniversary so
in some ways it was sad. We went to see a movie of course cuz thats
what we usually do. So I finally saw Charlie and the Chocolate
Factory! Of course I love chocolate! It was a great movie! A lot of it
was funny but parts of it were a little scary. Its like a kids movie but
really adults and teens would like it too.
It was kewl cuz Herbie even got the aisle seat so I sat next to him on
his right. We always try to sit that way at movies.
Then after that we went to park up on the hill. Its called Blueberry Hill
and its our place to park. First we just sat there and did cuddles and
looked at the stars. But then Herbie asked me again did I still want to
break up with him? So I had to explain it all again. I said “I really dont
want to break up with u Herbie. But Ive only dated two guys in my
whole life and I was Jules girlfriend for a year and yours for two
years. I just want to be sure about what I want.”
Then he said “I know what I want” and of course he was looking at
me. And I said “I know Herbie. I know u know. But I dont. I really
like u ur really special and ur the best boyfriend I ever had. But I just
want a break for a little while.”
Anyway then we kissed for a while which was sweet. But we didnt
go downstairs really we didnt even go upstairs cept his hand brushed
over my breasts just a little. But I had my top on and I dont even
know if he did it on purpose. It was weird cuz I really wanted to do
more with him but then also I didnt. It would just seem weird going
downstairs and touching him and him touching me when I knew wed
be breaking up in a week. And when I thought about that I got teary
eyed again! I wish I knew what I want I am totally confused!
Anyway we talked about our anniversary cuz thats in a week and we
want to do something really special for it. But that was weird. Cuz we
talked about going to a nice restaurant and seeing a movie. And then
Herbie said “its too bad we cant see each other longer.” And I thought
he was talking about us breaking up. But then he said “Weve watched
the moon come up. Maybe some day well see the sun.” And first I
didnt know what he was talking about. But then I knew he was
talking about us spending the night together! But of course we have
done that. We stayed at Aunt Lizzies and we slept together at the coed
sleepovers but there were a lot of ppl there it wasnt just us. And we
werent really together anyway we each had our own sleeping bag.
So now Im wondering does he want us to spend the night together?
But its like in the morning we wont even be boyfriend and girlfriend
anymore! So how is that going to work? Anyway its not going to
happen.
I wish I was on vacation already. I want to get away from all these
problems!
Sunday July 31 2005
Dear Mr BiGgLeS
Ok I wrote everything out of order and I had to fix it. Parts of today
were good but parts r awful!
I talked to Daddy and he still says he wont move back til Mommy
gets herself straightened out. But how is that going to happen?
Mommy and Daddy wont get counseling. And I even told Daddy
about Mommy and I seeing Uncle Oz! I thought it might make him
jealous so hed want to move back. But he did the same thing he
always does when he doesnt want to talk about something he just
watched TV.
Anyway Laura and Becky and I used the pool and the jacuzzi at
Beckys house and we saw Beth. Thats Beckys older sister. We didnt
skinny dip cuz its like everybody was on her period but me! lol But
the kewl part is Laura said she would do that now if it was just girls!
Isnt that kewl? She used to be really uncomfortable doing things like
that but shes a lot healthier now. We really talked about things so that
was good. I wish Laura would move back! But I got some awful
news about moving but Ill tell u later.
Oh and we didnt help Cassie move she already did it! She said we can
come and see her new apartment when its fixed up. But thats not the
bad thing I have to tell u about moving!
I feel like just running away! Mommy says shes giving notice on the
apartment so we can move the beginning of next month! I mean in
September not August. She wants to move back to Page and Perrys
and I do not want to move back there! I cant even have my own
room cuz theres no room! And I do not want to stay in Uncle
Frankies old room in the antique store theres not even supposed to be
anybody staying in there! So what am I going to do? Oh and I do not
want to spend my senior year at the school I was at when I was a
sophomore cuz I didnt even like it! But if I live there I have to go to
that high school. This sucks!
I talked to Mommy about getting counseling first and even going to
Gamblers Anonymous cuz they have a group for ppl who are married
to gamblers. Thats what Steve Steve suggested. But Mommy is
straight up not interested. She said she doesnt have a problem Daddy
has a problem so I should talk him into going! Of course Daddy
thinks he doesnt have a problem he thinks its all Mommy problem.
Well Im sorry but the truth is its both their problem! And its my
problem too! I dont know maybe I should talk to a counselor. But that
is straight up not going to help Mommy and Daddy!
I wish I was on vacation right now. I wish I was on vacation for the
rest of my life!
Dear Mr BiGgLeS
My life has gotten totally weird. Laura and I r going back today to see
my old school friends. I think Beckys picking us up or maybe Herbie.
I am still totally confused about Herbie!
I wish I knew what I really wanted. But how do u know? Sometimes
it seems like I want things that r totally different. Like I want to be
with Herbie and date just him. But then I also want to not have a
boyfriend so I can date other ppl. And then I know this is weird but I
also feel like I want to date Herbie and date other ppl too! Please dont
think Im a hoochie cuz Im not! But I like to date and there r guys who
like me! Herbie of course and Deno and I think maybe Allen! And
theres three guys online who r really flirting with me too!
And then I thought something really weird. Allen is Mindys cuzin. Ok
so Im not really thinking this cuz this is totally not real. But what if I
married Mindys cuzin? Really it wouldnt have to be Allen it could be
somebody else. Im just using Allen as an example thats all. But like
what if I really liked Allen and he really liked me and we got married.
Then would I be Mindys cuzin? Really that would be kewl. But dont
think anything cuz Im straight up not ready to marry anybody! lol
later
Today was really weird! Ill have to tell u what happened with Herbie
but Ill tell u that later.
First Becky was totally late. Laura and I were waiting for like hours!
Ok Becky says it wasnt that long really it wasnt. And Becky says its
not her fault and I know it wasnt so ok Ill shut up.
Anyway so finally Becky got here and we left. And then Becky almost
ran out of gas! I was like Becky the gas tank says empty! And she
said she didnt want to stop and it wasnt that far and wed make it fine.
And I was like Becky stop and get some gas! I dont want to walk for
50 miles! Then finally Laura said she had to use the restroom so we
had to stop for gas. Becky is one of my best friends but some times
shes crazy!
Ok then heres something else thats weird. Becky wants me to tell u
about the guys who r flirting with me online! Really a lot of guys do
they flirt with Becky too. I know they would with Laura if she got
online more cuz shes sweet and shes really pretty.
Anyway first I have a friend online but I wont say who he is cuz its
private. Hes a good friend but hes writing me really sexy emails! But I
dont know if hes seriously macking on me or if hes just kidding. I
showed his emails to Becky and Laura cuz he said I could. And he
really says some nasty things about Becky! I dont mean mean things I
mean sexy things. Ok Becky just said something really nasty but I
straight up am not going to write it! lol Laura thinks hes serious but I
dont know. He also wants to help me edit Ella and Wendis story so I
guess Ill send it to him. I know he reads this so hell know what Im
writing which is embarrassing. Im not mad or anything cuz hes
sweet. But I really dont know what he wants! I know he wants me to
call him on the phone but I dont know.
And then theres this other guy who sends me lots of pics. Some of
them r him and he shows me everything! :o lol Of course a lot of
guys do that especially on webcam. But really I always like getting
pics of my friends. So if ur my friend send me some pics of u! Ive
sent him pics of me too but not like the ones he sends to me! lol Some
of the photos he sends me r of other ppl and theyre hot! They arent
like a lot of pics theyre romantic but theyre also really sexy. I showed
them to my friends cuz he doesnt care who sees his photos and a lot
of them arent him anyway. And he wants to call me!
Oh and I should explain something cuz otherwise everybody will ask
me. I do NOT send pics of me to ppl who read my diary! That would
be totally embarrassing cuz I tell everything I do in my diary but thats
only cuz nobody knows me IRL. But if I sent them a pic then its like
knowing me IRL! He doesnt read my diary so thats why I could send
him pics. So if u read my diary dont ask me for my photo!
Then theres this other guy who lives in California like me. Hes kewl
too and I think hes a little shy. But not too shy cuz he asked me to
come to his house! Hes creative and I like emailing him and he posts
in one of my old websites even though I might just close it. I like my
old site but I really want to work more on my new one cuz its bigger
and its professional. Oh and the site that I show my friends IRL but
that one I dont post my diary. Ppl I know online see it too of course. I
think Ill just keep those two sites. Anyway I think he likes me too! I
havent let my friends read his emails cuz he didnt say I could. I really
respect ppls privacy. Oh and if u dont know I didnt go to his house. I
think hes kewl but I havent met anybody IRL that I knew online cept
Harmony and I knew him for five years. And I met him in public with
Mindys family not at his house. So I dont know.
Ok I dont want to talk about that anymore and Becky wants to do
something else even though its too late and we should all go to bed
Becky! lol
later
I still have a lot to tell u! Ok I wont tell u everything that happened
with Becky and Laura and me cuz I want to tell u about Herbie. Herbie
picked me up for our date. It was our last date b4 our anniversary so
in some ways it was sad. We went to see a movie of course cuz thats
what we usually do. So I finally saw Charlie and the Chocolate
Factory! Of course I love chocolate! It was a great movie! A lot of it
was funny but parts of it were a little scary. Its like a kids movie but
really adults and teens would like it too.
It was kewl cuz Herbie even got the aisle seat so I sat next to him on
his right. We always try to sit that way at movies.
Then after that we went to park up on the hill. Its called Blueberry Hill
and its our place to park. First we just sat there and did cuddles and
looked at the stars. But then Herbie asked me again did I still want to
break up with him? So I had to explain it all again. I said “I really dont
want to break up with u Herbie. But Ive only dated two guys in my
whole life and I was Jules girlfriend for a year and yours for two
years. I just want to be sure about what I want.”
Then he said “I know what I want” and of course he was looking at
me. And I said “I know Herbie. I know u know. But I dont. I really
like u ur really special and ur the best boyfriend I ever had. But I just
want a break for a little while.”
Anyway then we kissed for a while which was sweet. But we didnt
go downstairs really we didnt even go upstairs cept his hand brushed
over my breasts just a little. But I had my top on and I dont even
know if he did it on purpose. It was weird cuz I really wanted to do
more with him but then also I didnt. It would just seem weird going
downstairs and touching him and him touching me when I knew wed
be breaking up in a week. And when I thought about that I got teary
eyed again! I wish I knew what I want I am totally confused!
Anyway we talked about our anniversary cuz thats in a week and we
want to do something really special for it. But that was weird. Cuz we
talked about going to a nice restaurant and seeing a movie. And then
Herbie said “its too bad we cant see each other longer.” And I thought
he was talking about us breaking up. But then he said “Weve watched
the moon come up. Maybe some day well see the sun.” And first I
didnt know what he was talking about. But then I knew he was
talking about us spending the night together! But of course we have
done that. We stayed at Aunt Lizzies and we slept together at the coed
sleepovers but there were a lot of ppl there it wasnt just us. And we
werent really together anyway we each had our own sleeping bag.
So now Im wondering does he want us to spend the night together?
But its like in the morning we wont even be boyfriend and girlfriend
anymore! So how is that going to work? Anyway its not going to
happen.
I wish I was on vacation already. I want to get away from all these
problems!
Sunday July 31 2005
Dear Mr BiGgLeS
Ok I wrote everything out of order and I had to fix it. Parts of today
were good but parts r awful!
I talked to Daddy and he still says he wont move back til Mommy
gets herself straightened out. But how is that going to happen?
Mommy and Daddy wont get counseling. And I even told Daddy
about Mommy and I seeing Uncle Oz! I thought it might make him
jealous so hed want to move back. But he did the same thing he
always does when he doesnt want to talk about something he just
watched TV.
Anyway Laura and Becky and I used the pool and the jacuzzi at
Beckys house and we saw Beth. Thats Beckys older sister. We didnt
skinny dip cuz its like everybody was on her period but me! lol But
the kewl part is Laura said she would do that now if it was just girls!
Isnt that kewl? She used to be really uncomfortable doing things like
that but shes a lot healthier now. We really talked about things so that
was good. I wish Laura would move back! But I got some awful
news about moving but Ill tell u later.
Oh and we didnt help Cassie move she already did it! She said we can
come and see her new apartment when its fixed up. But thats not the
bad thing I have to tell u about moving!
I feel like just running away! Mommy says shes giving notice on the
apartment so we can move the beginning of next month! I mean in
September not August. She wants to move back to Page and Perrys
and I do not want to move back there! I cant even have my own
room cuz theres no room! And I do not want to stay in Uncle
Frankies old room in the antique store theres not even supposed to be
anybody staying in there! So what am I going to do? Oh and I do not
want to spend my senior year at the school I was at when I was a
sophomore cuz I didnt even like it! But if I live there I have to go to
that high school. This sucks!
I talked to Mommy about getting counseling first and even going to
Gamblers Anonymous cuz they have a group for ppl who are married
to gamblers. Thats what Steve Steve suggested. But Mommy is
straight up not interested. She said she doesnt have a problem Daddy
has a problem so I should talk him into going! Of course Daddy
thinks he doesnt have a problem he thinks its all Mommy problem.
Well Im sorry but the truth is its both their problem! And its my
problem too! I dont know maybe I should talk to a counselor. But that
is straight up not going to help Mommy and Daddy!
I wish I was on vacation right now. I wish I was on vacation for the
rest of my life!
| Copyright 2005 by Lorien Loveshade |
LoRiEn
LoVeShAdE
LoVeShAdE
| My DiArY! |
All these Guys r
Flirting with Me!
LMAO
Flirting with Me!
LMAO
| We parked on Blueberry Hill. |
I wish I knew what I
wanted!
wanted!
| I wish I knew what I really wanted! |
| We almost ran out of gas! |
| Do not ask me for pics if u read my diary! |
| My almost last date with my boyfriend! |
| Does he want to spend the night together? |
| We used the pool and the jacuzzi. |
| I feel like running away! Mommy really plans to move! |
| I wish I was on vacation for the rest of my life! |