Lorien Loveshade's Private Diary July 18

Monday July 18 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I still dont know how I feel about breaking up with Herbie! Were still
promised to Aug 6 and were having our anniversary but that has to be
weird. How can u celebrate an anniversary when ur breaking up the
next day?

Anyway Ill talk about something else. Mindys having Flower spend
the night again theyre real good friends. Flower is really sweet. She
even wanted to go on vacation with us but shes not. I think Im going
over there for dinner. Either Mommys here and driving me crazy or
shes gone and Im all by myself. I like being by myself but I dont
know.

I didnt learn what I got on my Midterm test yet. Dr. Fielder was sorry
but said well have our grades tomorrow. Mirabelle doesnt think she
did very good and I dont know how I did either. I hope I did ok!

later

Guess what? I got an email from Europe! Germanas there right now
shes in England. She didnt tell me a lot cuz she couldnt be on very
long. Oh but this was funny but she said she didnt see Austin Powers
there yet! lol Austin Powers is English of course but really Mike
Myers is from Canada.

Im building my website and trying to write more. I want to write a
poem about how I feel about Daddy but its hard. And really I want to
write one for Herbie too. I want to tell him how I still care about him.

later

I had fun with Mindy and Flower! Flower is really kewl. She wants to
ride bikes too so maybe finally well start riding bikes again. She said
their families going to the beach on the weekend and she asked Mindy
and me if we want to go with her. But I thought she meant a nude
beach! But she said this one isnt so it may be ok. I dont know if
Mindys parents would let her go to a nude beach or not and I dont
know about my Mommy either even though I think she did b4. But it
doesnt matter cuz we can wear clothes at this one! lol Anyway Ill
have to ask but I think well go!

Oh this is funny. Mindy thinks Bobbie likes Flower! He was really
being nice to her and wanting to show her his room and the dogs and
the treehouse and everything. Of course shes seen it all b4! lol Bobbie
used to like Carol a long time ago but I think hes switched! Bobbie is
older hes 12 1/2 and Flowers 11 but shes really mature. Theyd make a
sweet couple! lol

Oh guess what else? Flower said she might come to our Wiccan
esbat! Shes not Wicca but shes not against it. That would be kewl.

Tuesday July 19 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I got good news! First guess what I got in Psychology? An A-! I
really thought I was getting lower. So really I can still get an A in the
class! Mirabelle got a C- but she was afraid shed get worse. Shes a
good student shes just really busy cuz she works a lot.

I got a research paper to write and I have to work more on it. Im
writing about learning disabilities and how that can make ppl
depressed. Dr. Fielder says I have to focus more he said Im writing a
paper not a book! lol Usually they want u to take more college English
b4 u take Psychology but Im a honors student in high school so I
could take the course. But I still have to learn more about writing a
college research paper! I like writing essays I should post some on
my site.

Ok the other good news is I might have another kid to babysit! This
family moved into the apartments and Mindy knows them already she
meets everybody. She said they have five kids and the youngest one is
five. I think she said his name is Jacob but Im not sure. Anyway Im
going to ask them cuz I need more kids so I can make more money!

Wednesday July 20 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Guess what? Lauras going to be here Saturday! Isnt that kewl? I
havent seen her for a long time. Shes been my friend since we were 8
but she moved away when we were 13. I really miss her! I wish she
could go to the beach with us but I think well be gone when she gets
here. Thats ok shell probably want a break from traveling anyway. If
she got here tomorrow she could go to our esbat but thats not going
to happen either.

Im feeling nervous about vacation I dont know why! Its the first time
I wont have a boyfriend for two years. Im really not planning
anything with Allen so dont think that! But if he wants to kiss me
again or something why not? Ill be free! lol It would be kewl if Laura
could come with us but of course thats not going to happen. Its funny
cuz well be closer to where she lives there than we r here! I emailed
Yvette cuz I want to find out when were going to the rodeo so I can
tell Harmony. He knows somebody whos in rodeos there so maybe
we could see her! I know her online too shes a member of my old
website. Yvette is spontaneous but he wants to know b4 so he can
plan to get off work if he has to.

I havent talked to the new family about babysitting yet I have to do
that. I really want to babysit another kid cuz I wont be doing Garrett
anymore and I need more money. Also I dont know where Ill be
babysitting! Ive been having the kids at Garretts apartment which is
right by my apartment but of course thats not going to work
anymore. But the new kids r here too so maybe I could do it at their
crib.

later

I just read what I wrote I sound like a tweaker! LMAO I dont know
why Im feeling so excited. Its like everything is happening! Im excited
about seeing Laura and going on vacation and seeing Yvette and Allen
and their family and Harmony and my covens esbat and everything.
And of course were building our professional website and Im writing
some new poems.

And u wont believe what Ella told me! First she said at the fitness
center that she and Wendi almost finished their story so I have to read
it. But now Im wondering what kind of story it is cuz she mentioned
the stories I showed her and the ones Johnnie sent her! And those
were hot stories! I guess I really should write one like that too but I
dont know. I start a lot of stories but I never finish them.

Then guess what else she told me? Somebody she knows online
wants to meet her! Really its somebody I know online too but I wont
say who it is cuz I talk about him in my diary. Ive know him for a
while but she hasnt known him very long so I dont know. I think hes
kewl but still.

And guess what else? I got somebody who wants to meet me too!
Hes been talking about it for a while and he wants me to meet him in
like a week! I dont think he lives all that far away either but I dont
know. Hes sweet but Im nervous about meeting somebody! Of
course I met Harmony IRL but I knew him for five years! And he
said he wouldnt meet me in private and my parents had to know and
there had to be somebody else there for my protection and really for
his too. But this is somebody who wants me to meet him at his house!
So I dont know. Really hes cool but I dont know if Im ready to do
that yet. Ive known him online for months but really I havent been
talking to him very much just the last few weeks. Hes sweet but still.

Im like why do all these guys want to meet us? We must be some
hottie girls! LMAO j/k

Thursday July 21 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I am really worried about Germana and her family. They had another
bombing in England and thats where she is! I dont think anybody was
hurt but still. Its like England used to be safe but I dont know if
anywhere is safe anymore!

Im really trying to write a short story but I dont know if its going
very well. I dont want to tell u the story b4 I write it cuz thats bad
luck. But its about this girl whos getting married and shes trying to get
this wedding ring. But I dont know. Im writing a lot of descriptions
but really nothings happening! I always start stories and then never
finish them.

Oh I talked to the family who wants a babysitter. It wont work for
me but it might work for Mindy! They want somebody to watch the
kids all day but I got college for two weeks and then Im on vacation.
Oh and its two kids they have five but they want a sitter for the two
youngest ones its a boy and a girl. I got the boys name wrong but oh
well! But anyway Mindy might do it! She wants a job and shes totally
responsible she took care of her brothers when they were little and
shes helped me babysit. So it could be a really good job for her and I
could help her too. I know shell want to pay me if I do but I dont
want any money Mindy! lol

later

We had our esbat tonight and it was kewl. Guess who was here? Miss
Sasha! I dont know if shell be coming every time but Im glad she
came. I was afraid to talk to her about Herbie cuz of course shes his
grandma. I was like if Im breaking up with him will that be a prob
with me? Cuz really our branch is under her and my coven. But she
said thats a totally different issue. What I do or Herbie does is our
personal life it doesnt affect our position in the branch. As long as we
live to support the principles of Wicca thats what counts not who
were dating. So that was good.

It will be weird though cuz Im still in my coven and Herbie is too. So
how will that work when were not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore?
I hope its not a problem for Herbie! Im really worried about him. Hes
been so sad and hes such a sweet guy. I hope I did the right thing! Oh
Mindy just said I did and she thinks it might be good for Herbie too.
Shes spending the night with me. She really likes Herbie but she said
maybe hes gotten too dependent on me? Really I dont know. I hope
hes ok!

Ill tell u everybody who came. There was Miss Sasha, Goldina,
Quinn, Olive, Ella, Carol, Wendi, Deno, and me. Catovida couldnt
come which sucks and of course Germana and Austra r gone.
Catovida wants us to have the meetings on the same day each time
but my coven likes going with the full moon. Really my coven has
esbats for both the full and the new moon but my branch just does the
full moon and the sabbats of course. And its really sad cuz Quinn said
this might be his last meeting with us! Oh I think hell be at Lammas
but after that hes going to college! He said he might be able to come if
its on a weekend or Friday so I hope some full moons r. I wish he
wasnt leaving!

later

Guess what Mindy and I talked about? We want to have a costume
party at Yvettes! Of course I love planning parties but Ive never
planned one for a different state! lol I know Yvette likes dressing up
and I think Allen and their family do too. It could be fun! Oh and I
know Harmony likes Halloween so I think he would too. It wouldnt be
a Halloween party cuz it will be in August so we have to think what to
call it. I dont usually like to tell u what Im going to be for a costume
party but I already talked about it. Ill go as the Mommy and Mindy
will go as my baby! lol And Becky said b4 she wanted to be my bratty
kid so that should be fun. Now all we have to do is find Mindy some
diapers! LMAO

Friday July 22 2005

I havent heard from Yvette or Allen Ill have to email them again or
maybe I should call. I dont know how my cell phone minutes work
for out of state Ill have to check. I had a really weird dream last night
about being in Texas but I dont want to repeat it! It was too weird so
dont ask! lol

I have to get up really early tomorrow. Were going to the beach with
Flowers family and they want to see the sunrise on the beach! I dont
know cuz thats really early! But when we get back Laura will be here!
Yay! I really miss Laura she moved like right b4 the beginning of 8th
grade.

I wish Daddy still lived here I really miss Daddy. Ill try to see him
next weekend. Herbie wants to see me and really I want to see him
too. Were definitely getting together for our two year anniversary
even though it will be our last day together. Its really sad! I wish I
could still be Herbies girlfriend and try dating other guys but he doesnt
want to do that. Im not a slut I just want to be free for a while but I
dont want to lose Herbie!