Lorien Loveshade's Private Diary June 29 to 30 2005

Wednesday June 29 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I wish Daddy would come back soon. I miss him and Mommy is driving
me crazy! She doesnt want me going anywhere not even to college or
babysitting! She has to go to Page and Perrys or have Leslie or Naomi
come over or something. Anything so shes not alone. At least she likes
talking to Ima and of course she lives next door. If u dont know Ima is
Mindys Mama.

Anyway I think Daddy will probably stay at Denise and Nolans another
night and then come back on the weekend. I know I have new ppl reading
my diary so I should tell u that Nolan and Daddy both work at the same
plumbing place. Denise is Daddys niece so Nolan is like his nephew.
Anyway I dont know how that will work cuz Mommys working Friday and
Im going on a double date!

later

Mindys here with me shes spending the night. Shes giving me ideas to
add things to my website. Ive had a lot of sites b4 but not one thats
professional! Of course its not just mine but I got my own section.

Babysitting was crazy today. Kimberly and Rodney were awful! Garrett
was ok but they werent. They were arguing about everything! I wish I was
still going to be sitting Garrett next year cuz hes easy. And I want to make
more money! I have to get a cell phone. Herbie really wants me to get one
in case I have an emergency or something. He made me promise wed
look for one together which is sweet.

Heres our plan cuz its majorly changed. Beckys housesitting for Hunter
and his family this weekend so Deno, Mindy, Herbie, and I were coming
out and going on a double date. Then Mindy and I were going to spend
the night at Hunters house with Becky while Hunter and his family were
on vacation. But Mommy doesnt want me going anywhere which sucks.
But really this could be better! Becky will have somebody else come over
this weekend and Mindy and I will go there next weekend. So this
weekend Herbie is driving here for our double date. Then Mindy, Herbie,
and I r staying at Aunt Lizzies and Deno might even stay too! Of course
Mindy and Deno havent done more than kiss but who knows what might
happen if they spend the night together? Ok Mindy says to tell u Im just
kidding. lol She says she hasnt even kissed him very many times yet.
She still says he likes me but Im like Mindy ur the one he keeps asking
on dates! lol

I really dont think I can talk to Herbie this weekend about not promising
ourselves for another year. I really need to tell him that when were alone.
But I have to tell him! I guess I can tell him next weekend cuz Ill be out
there all weekend. I hope hes ok when I tell him! Oh Page said Mommy
can come over anytime if she gets lonely so that way I can go. And really I
think Daddy will be back b4 then anyway. I wish hed come back now!

Ok then I decided something else. Im going to let Germana read my
diary! Everybody who knows me IRL who reads it said its ok even Laura.
Really she said she doesnt care if its somebody who doesnt even know
her. She said thats just the same as ppl who dont know her online
reading it. I dont think shes as worried as she used to be so thats good. I
cant wait to see her this summer! Shes still thin but shes at normal
weight and shes been normal for a long time now. If u think ur too fat all
the time get help dont get anorexia!

This is taking me forever I dont know why Im talking about everything! We
had our branch meeting tonight and talked about our group. Mindy says I
havent written Ella and Carols Wiccan names I straight up thought I did!
The members of our branch r High Priestess Goldina, Priest Catovida,
Priestess Artariel which is me, Initiate Sennyoko which is Mindy, Initiate
Desmodia which is Ella, and Initiate Sealegs which is Carol. I still cant
believe Carol changed her Wiccan name to that cuz its from frog legs and
she used to hate being called Froggie. They called her that cuz she can
swim like a frog she kicks like one and shes really fast. But she said its
ok if she chooses it! And really its good cuz she likes being in the water.
Of course I do too its definitely my main element. I have to start going to
the fitness center more.

The other ppl werent there cuz theyre part of our branch but they arent
really members yet cuz they arent initiates. Really I thought they could
come to the meeting too but Catovida said it was best for it just to be full
members. I wont tell u everything we talked about but we have some
good plans! Catovida said we really need a High Priest but I dont know
who were going to get. It should be balanced with a High Priestess and a
High Priest even though some covens just have one.

later

Im embarrassed to talk about this cuz Im posting on our new site. Some
of the things I already posted r embarrassing but I wrote those b4. Ok
Mindy says shell help me explain it to u. Im writing this Thursday but this
is what happened Wednesday.

Mindy and I r soulmates through the ages. Sometimes we find each other
right away like we might be born sisters. Other times we might search
our whole lives for each other. We met in this life cuz Mindy went to the
antique store that Page and Perry own theyre my Mommys parents. Mindy
knew she was looking for something there but I didnt know she was
looking for me! I didnt even know I had a soulmate. But Miss Sasha and
Aunt Eva told us about it theyre both Elder Priestesses.

Mindy wants me to tell u her secret nickname for me is Cuppy and thats
what she called me in a previous life. I know ppl r reading this but its ok
with her that ppl who read my diary know my nickname cuz they dont
know us IRL anyway. I call her Tinkie but I think thats new. I dont think I
called her that in a past life.

Anyway in one life I was Mindys Mommy! She was my precious little baby.
I held her and fed her and changed her and loved her cuz she was my
own daughter. I even nursed her. I think a Mommy nursing her baby is the
most beautiful thing in the world. Ur feeding ur own child from the milk
that comes from ur own breasts. Ur body makes it out of love.

And u have to understand that Im called to be a Shepherdess. I have to
take care of my little lambs which is why Im a babysitter and I help take
care of my little brother Matthew who just turned 3. But I also help take
care of Mindy cuz shes like my little sister. But sometimes shes my baby.

It started cuz somebody told me “lambs need milk” but I cant remember
who. Oh Mindy says it was Aunt Eva. So one time when Mindy and I were
cuddling together she said “lambs need milk.” I didnt know what she
meant. But she meant she wanted to nurse me! Its not a sex thing so
dont think that. And of course I dont really have any milk. Im a virgin! lol
But its a beautiful and precious sharing. So thats what she did. It feels
soo nice when she does that with me. Its part of our karmic connection.
Shes like my little baby again. And it was so special cuz I actually fell
asleep while she was nursing me! Isnt that sweet? I love her so much.
She says “I love u Cuppy!” I love u too Tinkie!

Thursday June 30 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Im worried about Daddy hes still not back! Hes still at Denise and
Nolans. Sunday is Caseys birthday shell be three and of course shes
Denise and Nolans daughter. So we would all be seeing her for her
birthday. But how will that work if Mommy and Daddy r still separated and
Daddys there? And Mommy is still calling there all the time. And shes
missed work shes so upset. I do not need Mommy missing work we
need the money! And the rents due!

But I really think Daddy will be coming back this weekend. But we need
the rent money tomorrow! Really I think its supposed to be paid today.

I had my last day of college for this week then I go back to class Monday. I
have Psychology Mondays thru Thursdays. I really like the class Im
learning a lot! I like college a lot more than high school. I just wish I could
make some friends there. Theres this one girl in our class her names
Mirabelle and shes 18 just one year older than me. She babysits too.
Shes kewl but I dont really know her yet. I talk to ppl in college but I havent
made any good friends yet. I think its cuz in a lot of my classes Im the
youngest one there. But Mindy said she might go to college next year
which would be kewl. Of course shes 14.

later

Guess what Mindy said? I cant believe she said this shes sounding like
Becky! But she said right now my Daddys gone and probably wont be
back for a couple of days. So Mommys making all the decisions now and
Mommy hates to make decisions. When Daddy was gone b4 she let
Page and Perry make all the decisions about me but they said go ask
Mommy. So really I could do whatever I wanted. Id just tell Page and Perry
that Mommy said it was ok and Id tell Mommy that Page and Perry said it
was ok.

So Mindy said why dont I do that with my vacation! Mindy said why dont we
make our reservations for vacation now! I cant go til after college is out
thats not til August. But if we already paid for our tickets and Mommy said
it was ok then Daddy cant say no! He hates seeing money wasted and it
would be a total waste of money. And if I get Mommys permission then its
like whats he going to say? Of course hell be pissed but so what? He can
be pissed if he wants to be Im still going!

later

Ok we talked to Luke. Thats Page and Perrys friend who helped me with
my computer. Anyway he told us how to find deals on the Internet and told
us where to look. Really he told us how to find it cuz I didnt know where to
go. And guess what? We can fly to Texas and it will only cost us like $100!
Oh Mindy says its $100 coming back too. But I totally have the money and
Mindys parents will pay for hers cuz they already said she can go if she
goes with me. She cant go by herself but Im 17 and I could ride on the
bus by myself when I was 16 and that was like hours. The plane flight isnt
as long as that!

So this could be totally kewl. We can see her Aunt Yvette and Allen and all
their family and we can also see Harmony again! Ok Mindy stop that!
Mindy says she thinks Allen likes me silly girl! I straight up have a
boyfriend!

later

Ok Mindy told me this and I straight up didnt believe her. But its true!
Herbie and I r promised to August 6. I really like Herbie hes a great
boyfriend. But I really want to be free! Ive dated just him for two years and
b4 that I didnt date anybody for a year. And b4 that I dated Jules for a year
even though that was secret cuz we werent supposed to be dating. Daddy
didnt think I was old enough. But if we left like right after Aug. 6 my college
class would be over and Id be free! We could go back for a week and I
could do whatever I wanted! This is totally kewl!

Ok I know what Mindy says she says I just want to see Allen cuz I like him!
Stop that silly girl! I like Allen but just as a friend ok? Oh Mindy says I
should explain cuz I got new ppl reading my diary now. Yvette is the
mother of Allen, Vickie, and Josh. Dan is her oldest son. Oh and Yvette is
Gregs sister so shes Mindys aunt. Anyway I saw them when they came
out here I think for Christmas and then I went with Mindys family when we
saw them for spring break. But this time it would be just Mindy and I going!

Now I just have to get permission! And I have to do it fast b4 Daddy
comes back cuz I know hell just say no. But not if Ive already done it b4 he
gets back!