Lorien Loveshade's Personal Diary June 22 to 25 2005

Wednesday June 22 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Becky and Mindy left so Im alone now finally! LMAO j/k Oh course really I
was happy they were here with me theyre such great friends! Im just
teasing them cuz of course theyll read this.

Becky drove us to the mall so we went shopping. I really like wearing
camis and shorts theyre great for summer. So do Becky and Mindy
although Mindy really likes mini skirts. And sandals of course I love
sandals. This was funny though cuz Becky wanted us to try on wedding
dresses! lol I was like Becky u dont try on wedding gowns unless ur
getting married silly girl! She said she was getting married to Hunter but
of course she was just kidding.

I cant wait til Ive had my drivers license six months cuz then I can drive
with somebody in the car whos under 18. Now I have to drive by myself or
with somebody older which is stupid. I cant remember the day I got my
license Ill have to check.

Anyway then we went to Aunt Lizzies! We got to ride the horses for a little
bit. I wish I had a horse but I straight up cant keep one in an apartment!
lol I love going to Aunt Lizzies cuz u can be totally free there u can be
urself. U can say anything u want cept for putting ppl down or arguing cuz
she doesnt allow that. But really thats good. Cuz she doesnt argue or put
ppl down either. She just accepts u as u r. We had a lot of fun there.

Really it was good to see Becky happy shes been so sad. And she totally
forgives the guy who crashed into her Daddy. We talked about it with Aunt
Lizzie but of course she knows all about it. It was bad when it first
happened cuz Becky said she hated the other driver! But thats just cuz
she was totally upset. U would be too if u lost ur Daddy! But then she
knew that wasnt the way of Wicca. We dont believe in hate or revenge.
Everything will balance out in ur karma so theres no reason to hate
anybody. What u do thats good will return to u and what u do thats bad
will return to u. It might not be in this lifetime it can be the next or even the
one after that. And we know Leon will have a good life in the next one cuz
he helped so many ppl with his massage therapy. And he was a great
father for his family.

Aunt Lizzies not Wiccan but she believes it will balance out in Heaven.
She doesnt believe in Hell but she believes in Heaven and Purgatory. In
Purgatory is where u stay at first and u have to pay back for what u did that
was wrong. She said she thinks some ppl spend a lot of time in
Purgatory! But eventually u can go to Heaven. She believes different than
me but thats ok. We all believe u should do as much good as u can in
this life.

I cant believe Im Priestess Artariel now. Im a leader of a branch of my
coven. Were going to have a meeting to make plans but Im not sure
when. Im really excited about it but its a big responsibility. But I really think
Im ready for it. I hope I am!

later

Fallon wrote this story about Steve Steves b-day. Fallon and Steve Steve
and somebody else were in the story but I wont tell u the whole story! If u
want to read it ask Fallon! Its about what she and another girl did for him
for his b-day. And it is totally hot! I dont know if its true and I didnt know it
would be a hot story when I started reading it! I read it by myself in my
room. I thought it would just be about a birthday party or something but it
was some hot party! So I had a hot party of one! ;)

Thursday June 23 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Mommy and Daddy got into it again! I am so tired of this! Mommy keeps
complaining that shes going to be 40 like that means shes going to be
an old lady or something. I am so tired of that! And then she yells at
Daddy for gambling and really I dont think hes gambling very much. Then
he gets on her for not taking care of things even though hes quiet about it.
But that just makes Mommy madder of course. Then she says they dont
have enough money for bills which is stupid cuz they both work and I do
too! I pay for my own expenses cept for room and board and my food.
Then Matthew gets upset and of course I get upset. Even Mr Biggles gets
upset! Daddy even said he thinks he might go somewhere for the
weekend and Mommys like then go! But he cant cuz Saturday is Aunt
Ebees b-day! And if he does go for the weekend then Mommy will be
upset cuz she cant stand being alone.

I wish theyd just grow up! I babysit kids and the oldest is 11 and they dont
act that bad! Ok Kimberly drives me crazy sometimes she can act like a
brat and then she gets Rodney in trouble. But really theyre good kids. And
Garrett is never trouble. I think Mommy and Daddy need a babysitter! lol
Ok thats silly. But it still drives me CRAZY!

later

Guess what I got asked to do? Housesit! Hunter and his family r going on
vacation and they said Becky and a friend could housesit for them! Really
I cant believe theyd ask Becky. I mean she would do a good job but shes
not 18 and of course Im not either. Its like r they going to trust a couple of
teenager to take care of their house? But really I know it wouldnt be a
problem cuz wed do a good job. Ive done a lot of house cleaning and
Beckys like Carol she likes doing yardwork. But it would be weird staying
in ur boyfriends house when he and his family r all gone!

But really its not going to work anyway. Cuz Im going to college starting
next week and I got babysitting. Id have to stay there every day then drive
an hour here then drive an hour back and do that five days a week! But
maybe I could stay just like for a day or maybe for the weekend I dont
know. Ill have to check. Daddy doesnt like me spending the night
anywhere in my old town cept at my cuzins anyway. But this would be a
job! I dont think theyre really paying her but still. We could live in our own
house! At least for a while.

I wish Becky and Hunter lived close then it wouldnt be a problem. Cept I
still dont know if Daddy will only let me spend the night somewhere one
day a week when my college class starts. He shouldnt I mean its college!
Im responsible enough to go to college and do good in my classes. So
arent I responsible enough to spend the night somewhere more than
one night a week?

Im spending the night at Mindys tonight. Ive had a week off cept I have to
do babysitting. But I havent done anything!

later

Mindy still wants me to learn to play a musical instrument! lol Even Mr.
Opland was talking about it cuz we went to his store. Mindy goes there all
the time of course. He said I should think about playing the guitar cuz u
can buy one cheap and he knows a couple good guitar teachers and
Mindy could help me learn. But I dont know. Its like most ppl who learn to
play r kids they arent almost 18! And really I have so much to do. I have
college and babysitting and building our website and doing volunteer
work and everything. I straight up dont have time!

Friday June 24 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Mindy and I were silly this morning we acted like little girls. We put our
hair in pigtails and ate kids cereal and watched kid cartoons with Raidon
and even talked like little kids. We acted younger than Raidon we said
Mindy was his little sister! lol It was fun. Of course u dont have to be a kid
to do those things and really I do them all sometimes anyway. And
pigtails can be sexy! Mindy and I talked about when we were Fook Mi and
Fook Yu we wore pigtails then of course and short skirts and we were two
hotties! lol

It is so cool that Mindy and I can be silly with her family and they dont
mind. Mindy even sat on Gregs lap which is sweet. I thought about it but I
was embarrassed. I know thats silly. Oh and we even used pacifiers! Of
course some teens use those its better than smoking. I dont know but I
usually feel silly sucking on one of them but this morning I didnt. It was
fun! Then Mindy said we should really be little we should wear diapers! lol
Then I said then whos going to change us? LMAO

Mindy is such a cool friend. Shes my precious little sister! Oh and we took
a bath together of course we do that a lot at her house but she always
likes us to shower first. Then we even had bath toys! lol We were really
silly.

Oh Mindy said she wants to do something for the big website but shes
embarrassed to ask! Silly girl. I told her she could. I think Beckys doing
something for it I dont know. Mindy writes really good haiku and tanka. Im
working on an essay about Wicca. Really I should have done more about
it on my other websites but I didnt I dont know why. But this is a main
website so Ill have lots of room. I hope theres enough room!

And I still dont know about posting my diary. My close friends can read it I
mean the ones who know me online. Of course Mindy and Becky and
Laura can read it. Oh and Harmony but I knew him online first.

Saturday June 25 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

It is so weird not doing Mrs Cox house anymore. We did it for like a year. I
still dont know if were doing the recycling but I think Ella and Carol want a
break from volunteer work. Really I guess I do too. But I will definitely do it
some more!

Today is Aunt Ebees b-day shes 19. Were having a party for her of
course. I cant believe my weeks vacation is almost over and I havent
done anything! Ok I did some things but not a lot. Of course I had to do
babysitting so it wasnt a real vacation. But next week is college and thats
a six week class so Ill be going to class and doing homework like all the
time!

later

Aunt Ebees b-day party was awful! Daddy got mad and left and hes still
not back!

later

Ok Mindy made me calm down so I can tell u what happened. It was just
the family and Mindy and Tammy. Aunt Ebee doesnt have a lot of friends
which is sad. Anyway it was good at first but then Aunt Ebee started
talking about when were they going to get an apartment. She and Uncle
Frankie r staying in Aunt Ebees room of course and she says theres
straight up not enough room for both of them. I dont know cuz really I think
there is. I know that rooms small for two ppl cuz Aunt Ebee and I shared it
together b4. But we werent sleeping together! But really I guess we had
more room cuz we had bunkbeds and of course they dont. Mindy says
she thinks Aunt Ebee just wants to move out of her parents house.

Anyway I told them ppl move out of the apartments all the time and we
could help them get one cuz Mommy and Daddy could talk to the
managers. But that was a mistake! Cuz then Mommy said “and they can
ask why the rent checks always late.” Then Daddy said “it could be
because somebody doesnt remember to pay it on time.” And then
Mommy said “we could pay it on time if u didnt gamble away all our
money!” I am so tired of this! And then Mommy started talking about how
shes going to be 40 again and how she thought shed be a lot better off by
the time she was 40 not stuck in some tiny apartment. And Im like this is
Aunt Ebees b-day party its supposed to be a happy time not a time for
arguments!

Page and Perry didnt argue but I almost thought they would. Of course
Denise and Nolan didnt they almost never argue. But my little cuzins were
getting upset. Then Matthew got into the cake b4 we were even ready to
eat it and got it all over himself. And then Page got upset cuz somebody
left the cover off and who did that? Oh Mindy just said she thinks Page did
it but she just forgot. It was crazy! Tammy even said she had to go
somewhere she had a meeting or something and she left early. And Im
like who has a meeting on Saturday? U know she just wanted to get out
of there! Really I did too and so did Mindy. Mindy didnt say anything but I
know she did. Oh she says she just didnt want me to be upset which is
sweet. But I am upset! She says my Daddy has stayed out late b4 and of
course he has. But Im still worried!

And then I dont know why I said this cuz this was stupid. I said “I wish
Benny and Brandy were here.” Of course I really did cuz Aunt Ebee is their
aunt too! But then everybody got quiet and that was even worse than the
arguing! Cuz we all know that the only reason they dont visit us anymore
is cuz of Daddy. Even Mommy talks to them now when Daddys not there.

Then this was worse cuz I thought Daddy would just watch TV or go home
or something. But he said he was going to the hardware store. Then
Mommy said “when will u be back?” And he said “maybe tomorrow.” And I
was like tomorrow? U dont spend the night at a hardware store! So I dont
know whats happening. I dont even know where Daddy is! Mindys
spending the night with me which is sweet. And Daddy cant say she cant
cuz hes not here! But I dont know where Daddy is! Mommys going crazy
and I am too!