Lorien Loveshade's Diary June 16 to June 19 2005

Thursday June 16 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Only one more day of school! Yay! Im through with college at least for a
week and high school ends tomorrow!

I still dont know how to sign Denos yearbook. Mindy says the only reason
he bought one is so I could sign it! LMAO Of course shes just kidding. Oh
she says shes not kidding! lol She got one even though shes just a
freshman. I wish I got one when I was cuz of course thats the school
where my old school friends r. I still cant believe what he wrote in mine.

Ok I thought I already wrote what Deno wrote in my yearbook but Mindy
says I didnt. He wrote it as a poem I guess cuz he knows I love poetry. Ok
here it is:

Dear Lorien,

Your a cool friend
to the very end
I love the chance
that we can dance.

I can’t wait
to double date
With Mindy and you
is what I’ll do.

I love your smile
when we date a while
Your a hottie witch
I wish I could switch.

Love you,

Deno

Im like what does he mean switch? Mindy thinks he means switch dates
like he wants to go out with me! Really I dont know. I know he really likes
Mindy so I dont think he means that. But then what does he mean? I dont
know its really weird. I straight up have a boyfriend! I like Deno but just as
a friend. Ok now Mindy says I like Allen but I just like him as a friend too! I
cant have three boyfriends! LMAO

Ok Ill talk about something else. I talked to Becky and she thinks shell be
ok on Fathers Day but I dont know. Im really worried about her and her
family too. How can u have Fathers Day without a father? And then Im
thinking about my Daddy. He and Mommy r arguing a lot. Mommy gets
mad at everything but really its mostly about his gambling again. I wish
he wouldnt gamble but thats no reason for her to start screaming! Mindy
is so lucky she has her family. Shes with me and she says shes lucky too.
Heres some good news. Cassie is coming to the toga party! Really thats
good cuz she needs some new friends. I cant believe her familys moving.
They expect her to move with them but shes not. Shes moved all her life
and now that shes finally gone to the same high school for two years and
will be a senior next year they want to move again! Its totally not fair. They
dont know shes getting her own apartment. Of course they cant stop her
shes 18! And I know she makes a lot of money from the movies and the
website. I hope we make money with our website but of course it wont be
the same kind of website! LMAO Ours will be rated PG 13 not XXX!

later

Oh I forgot to write we had another earthquake! I never write about them
cuz I straight up am not afraid of them. I guess thats cuz Im a California
girl! lol But I am so tired of all these earthquakes! I think Ill go on vacation
with Mindy just so I can get away from them! LMAO

Friday June 17 2005

Today is my last day of school b4 summer. Yay!

Miss Matthewson had a party for us in dance. We really didnt do much in
any of my classes of course but I think some teachers had tests which
sucks. Of course thats the way it is in college. I think some ppl r coming
to the toga party tomorrow well have a lot of ppl. And of course tonight is
graduation!

later

Quinn is out of high school. Yay! Really its sad cuz hes going to college
so I wont even see him anymore! Hell come back to visit of course but I
mean he wont be in our branch. I wish he was going to college close! Of
course I knew a lot of ppl who graduated but I wont list everybody. I wish I
could have gone to Beths graduation and seen my old school friends but
I couldnt be in two places at the same time!

I dont know what to say about graduation its like theyre all the same. Of
course mine will be different cuz it will be me! lol

Saturday June 18 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I have a lot of decisions to make.

The biggest thing I have to decide is what to do about Herbie? I know I
keep writing about that so I wont tell u all about it again. But I straight up
do not want to wait til August 6 when I know hell ask me if I want to be
promised for another year and then tell him no! I want to tell him b4 then
but I dont know when! Ill see him tonight at the party but I dont think a
partys a good place to tell ur boyfriend u want to break up with him! And
really I dont want to break up anyway I want to stay with him til August 6
cuz thats when were promised to. Hes really sweet I just want a chance
to be free.

And I have to decide what to do about Daddy. I thought maybe Yvette
could ask him about me going there on vacation with Mindy. But he
already said no to me. So would he say yes to her? I really dont think he
would. But I really want to go! I dont want to be here all summer with no
vacation! Germana and her family r going to Europe cant I at least go
someplace outside of California?

And I have to decide if Ill do recycling or something else. We showed
Ginger and Ogden what to do so theyll take care of Mrs. Cox house now. I
think Gingers doing the housework and Ogdens doing the yard work.
Somebody else might be helping them cuz its a lot of work for just two
ppl. I really like Mrs. Cox but weve been doing it for a year and Carol
wants to do something else. So her and Mindy and Ella and I have to
decide what well do.

And then I have to decide what to do about my website! Were building the
main website so I have to figure out what I want on it. I want to have my
poems and my diary and everything. Harmony even said I could write
essays and my opinions! But sometimes if u want to publish one of ur
poems they dont want it published anywhere else. And a website can
count as published! And I dont think I want everybody to be able to read
my diary. I might want to tell somebody I know about the site cuz Ill be a
part of a professional website! But if they visit it then they can read my
diary and even with pseudonyms theyll know Im writing about them! So I
dont know.

later

The toga party was really kewl! Templer said he didnt know what a toga
party was so Ill tell u. Somebody said it started with a movie but
somebody else said it started in Rome so I dont know. Anyway the main
thing is everybody wears a toga! A lot of ppl make them out of sheets and
really u can just take a sheet and tie it around urself and its a toga! Ima
made Mindy and mine and they look really kewl! Theyre white with gold
trim and we wore matching sandals so that was kewl. Germana wanted
all the girls to go without bras but not everybody did. But Mindy and I did! U
have to make sure u have it pinned really well if u do that of course! lol

Theyre were a lot of ppl there I wont list everybody. And they were all ages.
Germanas whole family were there thats Monica and Vince who r her
mom and dad, Randi whos her older sister I dont see much, Mexi and
Nether who r her younger brothers of course, and Austra her younger
sister. Oh and Quinn and his little brother Kurt were there I dont know why
Olive wasnt. Reggi their mom was there but Fred their dad wasnt. And of
course Mindy, Deno, Becky, Hunter, and Herbie my boo baby! And Cassie
and Lindsey and even Aunt Lizzie! Cassie said she was coming but I
didnt know Lindsey and Aunt Lizzie were! They didnt come together of
course cuz Aunt Lizzie didnt even know them. And Stevie and Kayla were
there too. Herbies toga looked a little like mine of course we planned it
that way. The togas were all white there was a lot of different colors.
Monica wore one that was red with black that looked really hot.

There was some drinking but not a lot. Monica and Vince have a very strict
rule that they always follow. Anybody can drink at their house but nobody
can drink and drive. They wont even let anybody leave til they make sure
theyre ok. Of course Becky was glad cuz of that but it also made her sad
cuz thats how she lost her Daddy. If the guy who was driving had been at
one of Germanas parties it never would have happened. He would have
spent the night til he was sober or somebody would drive him home or
call a taxi or something.

Anyway the party was fun! There was a lot of dancing and a lot of different
kinds of music! Nobody played the piano much this time but they played
CDs from Roman movies so that was kewl.

Oh and this was totally fun. We played Toga Twister! lol I used my new
Twister game and it was a lot of fun. Ur getting all tied up in knots cuz
everybodys wearing a toga! It was funny cuz Deno ended up sitting on
Monicas hand! LMAO It was funny cuz he was more embarrassed than
she was!

I know u want to know if I drank any alcopop or anything but I didnt cuz of
Becky. She doesnt really care if ppl drink but still. But u can have fun
without drinking!

Oh we also did this apple bobbing game. I didnt know that was Roman
but I guess it is. U have a barrel with water in and apples floating in the
water. Then u bend over with ur hands behind ur back and try to bite a big
hole in ur apple! It sounds really easy but it straight up isnt!

Oh and of course we used the hot tub cuz thats Roman too! Cept they put
a different sign on the door it said Roman Bath! lol It was almost a
problem cuz a lot of girls didnt wear bras so if we just took off our togas
what would we wear? Of course I believe its ok for girls to go topfree but
not everybody does. Its just sexist that guys can but girls cant. Anyway
Germanas family let ppl borrow T shirts if they didnt have anything to wear
so that was kewl.

Oh and this was fun. They had a lot of grapes of course and ppl were
feeding them to each other! One time Herbie and Deno and Austra were
all feeding me grapes at the same time! lol Its like I cant eat that many
grapes! Then Nether started feeding them to me too! And Catovida was
trying to get everybody to feed him! lol

Oh guess what Cassie said? She said her parents r still moving and they
want to take Lindsey. But she said shes keeping Lindsey with her! Really
I dont know if that will work cuz shes just her big sister shes not her
parents. But I hope Lindsey can stay shes really kewl. Her and Mindy
were talking a lot.

Oh and also we honored the graduates. The weird part is it was a
graduation party and there werent very many graduates there! But there
were a lot of ppl and we had a great time!

I was going to spend the night with Mindy but we decided to do it later cuz
it was late and wed just fall asleep anyway! Oh but guess what? Steve
Steve has written part of our story! And Mindy and Becky and I r in it! Really
I wanted the three of us to read it together but of course that didnt work.
Becky was with Hunter and I was with Herbie and Mindy was with Deno. I
am not reading a hot story about us with our boyfriends there! lol I think
Mindy and I will read it Tuesday night cuz were spending the night
together. Oh I know shell say I have to tell u she and Deno arent boy and
girlfriend yet but I bet they will be! ;)

Sunday June 19 2005

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Happy Father’s Day! Of course my Daddy and my grandparents wont see
this but happy fathers day to all the fathers!

Really today was sad. I was thinking about Becky cuz she lost her Daddy
a month ago. She said their family was all really depressed they didnt
even know what to do. How do u celebrate Fathers Day without a father?
They love Leon so much they really miss him. I miss him too he was a
great Daddy for them and a good friend.

And then I thought about Benny and Brandy. Brandy is Daddys daughter
and he raised Benny as his son. So how can he refuse to talk to them? At
least Matthew and I were there but still. I even thought maybe Benny and
Brandy would call him anyway but they didnt. But its not their fault! What
kind of a father refuses to talk to his own children?

The rest of my family got together at least. I saw Perry whos my Mommys
Dad of course and I called Grandpa whos my Daddys Dad. He didnt
sound really good he tried to sound happy but I think he isnt feeling good.
I was thinking Im lucky to have all my grandparents. But who knows how
long Ill have them? We almost thought we lost Grandpa a couple years
ago.

And I dont like Mommy and Daddy arguing all the time. They didnt argue
today but really that was worse. Mommys crying more than yelling now
and Daddys even quieter than he usually is. I dont know it makes me
think of what happened b4. I straight up dont like it. I dont want Mommy
and Daddy to separate again! But I cant stand being in the same
apartment with them when they get like that! Our house was easier cuz
there was more room. This apartment is straight up too small for all of us
but we dont have enough money to get something bigger. They keep
saying were going to. But if we r then why havent we done it already?
Daddys been back a whole year!

Im going to call Mindy and see if I can spend the night with her tonight I
cant wait til Tuesday. I have to get out of this apartment!

later

Im at Mindys right now were in the treehouse. We were going to stay in
her room but we decided to stay up here. Really its nice here in the
evening. And if it gets too hot u can shut the windows and the roof and
turn on the air conditioner. Its an old one but the treehouse is small so it
works ok.

Mindy said shes really lucky to have her Daddy and I think she is too. I
love my Daddy of course so dont think that! But hes so strict and then
when he gets upset he wont talk to u. I remember when I was little he
used to hug me and kiss me all the time. Hed pick me up and let me ride
on his shoulders. I did that a lot I really liked him carrying me. I used to
pretend he was my horsie! I always liked doing things with him.

But now I dont know. A few years ago everything changed. Sometimes I
wish I was still a little girl. Its like everything was kewl then. If I got upset
Daddy or Mommy or Ms. Adelman would tell me everything will be ok. And
I really believed them. I really thought everything would be ok. But of
course I dont believe that anymore. Everything is not ok no matter what
anybody says. Its just not real.

Mindy wants us to read Steve Steves story shes excited about it but I dont
know if I want to right now. I really like Steve Steves stories hes a great
writer so dont think that! And it is totally kewl that hed write a story about
us. Thank u Steve Steve! But I really want to read it with Mindy and Becky
both here. Its about the three of us and it would be kewl if we could read it
together. But I dont know cuz I dont want to wait forever!

later

Guess what? I called Becky and shes going to spend the night with us
Tuesday! Were having our branch ceremony then of course. So that will
be kewl. Becky and Mindy r such great friends!

later

Mindy and I did it again. We lied in the treehouse naked together and did
cuddles. It feels so natural its really sweet doing that. Shes my precious
little sister. I love u Tinkie!