Lorien Loveshade's Secret Teen Diary March 17 to 21 2002

Sunday, March 17, 2002

Dear Mr Biggles

I know it now! I am in LoVe with <3 @->-- <3 JuLeS! <3 @->-- <3 Im going to church in just a sec and I
cant wait to see him!

later

I got two SuRpRiSeS today! First I saw <3 JuLeS <3 ! That wasnt a surprise of course even though its
wonderful! I sat next to him. Im so glad hes not totally ignoring me like he used to but its still a secret! ;)

But in Sunday school they talked about the youth retreat next month but I found out Jules is going. So
if I can go I can spend the weekend with him! I heard about it before but didnt know what it was and I
didnt know Jules was going until today! This could be so cool! But I got to get the money in for it right
away! So Im wishing I hadnt spent all my birthday money Im thinking that was STOOPID! I mean
usually I save money all the time I dont know why I spent it all! But keep reading!

So Jules family had me over for lunch but I already knew that. But after we ate they brought out this
cupcake with a candle in it and they sang happy birthday to me! I cant beleve it thats FOUR birthday
parties this year! (four birthday cake icons) And guess what they gave me a present! (present icon)
They gave me A Book of Blessings by Helen Steiner Rice which has poetry! But then Sister Vicky said
Ive been such a blessing to them and then she starting crying! And I dont even know why! And then
everybody hugged me it was sweet and Sister Vicky and Randy even kissed me and I started crying
and I dont know why either!

So then later Deacon Mike told me that they wouldnt give me the money but if I wanted they would
advance me money that I would earn for babysitting so that would mean I could go! :) But of course I
have to ask Mommy and Daddy. :s So Im hoping they say yes!

So Deacon Mike and JuLeS were going to take me home and Randy wanted to go too. And of course I
didnt have any time alone with Jules which I wanted but thats ok. But they said Randy needed to stay
home and then he said "goodbye Sister Lorien" and Sister Vicky started crying all over again! So I
gave her a hug of course. It was so sweet!

So Jules gives me a hug and its a nice hug but not too nice! ;) I know I really <3 love <3 him and I wish
I didnt have to hide it! And Deacon Mike gives me a really big hug and he kisses me on the forehead
again!

So then I go home and then I find out Brandy came and got more of her stuff and shes coming back.
Mommy is still trying to talk Daddy into going to lamaze classes with her. And she says if he can walk
through other ppls s**t he should be able to watch her give birth to their baby. So Im feeling like I want
to go back to Jules no wonder Brandy left!

So then later Brandy comes with Les but he doesnt even come in and she gets more of her stuff. And
Daddy tells her this is ur last chance u leave now and u arent coming back. But she goes out and
then Les comes in and helps her with some big stuff and I help some too cuz shes my sister. And
Mommys upset but shes just asking them questions about what r they going to do and stuff. Then
they leave and Daddy just watches TV and doesnt even look or say anything.

Monday, March 18, 2002

Dear Mr Biggles

My left ear is feeling sore! I hope I dont get infected! I have to keep cleaning them and twisting the
earrings all the time so they dont get frozen in there.

I still dont know whether I should tell Jules Im in love with him or not. How can I know? I want to tell him
but I dont want to scare him and what if he doesnt love me? I know he likes me but is he in love with
me?

I wish we didnt have to hide everything. Its like one time today I just wanted to run up to him and say
"look everybody Im going to kiss the boy I love" and kiss him with everybody looking. I know thats
wierd and I wouldnt really do it but I wish I could kiss him and be with him without having to hide it all
the time!

Oh I asked Mommy and Daddy about the timeshare with Uncle Oz and Daddy says he cant go so we
arent going! And I say can I go and he says no I dont want u running off by urself like that. And Im
saying but Uncle Oz will be there and Bennys going too and I went camping with them before and he
still says no! It doesnt make any sense! So I was going to ask him about the youth retreat but I knew
this was a bad time but I have to find out right away or I cant go!

Tuesday, March 19, 2002

Dear Mr Biggles

I saw Jules today but we hardly got to talk. At least hes at school every day! Mr. Zim said they want me
to babysit again! So Im going to be making money on Friday! Thats good cuz I need it. I still dont know
why I spent all my money! I want to take a babysitting class cuz I heard u can get more work that way. I
think Becky wants to even though she already knows how to change diapers! lol

I found out Tiffany got grounded but I dont know why.

Oh guess what? Mommy and Daddy were in a good mood today! They got their tax check back
already! Nolan told them a way to get the money quicker but I dont know what it was. So anyway we
went out to dinner and I asked about going to the youth retreat and they said yes! So Im going to get
to spend a whole weekend with <3 Jules! <3

Tomorrow is Ostara, the Spring Equinox when we bring in our new member!

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

Dear Mr Biggles

Todays the first day of Spring! We got our ceremony tonite and Im so excited cuz we get to bring in
our new member! I dont know if I should say his name yet until hes official. I hope its not cold!

later

I helped initiate our new member! I can tell u his name now its Crimson Stallion. Thats his coven name
not his real name of course!

It was neat cuz its the first time I got to do this. We had to prepare ourselves to receive him and we
had a small ceremony before he came in. We had to all agree that we would accept him in our family
and that we would be dedicated to him if he joined. Each one of us had to make that promise.

He had to go thru the ritual bath just like Becky and I did but of course I wasnt there for that part! It
was chilly but even chillier for him cuz I know he was only wearing the white robe cuz thats all Becky
and I wore. It was kind of sad cuz he was shivering a little we were hoping it would be warmer. We can
do ceremonies indoors if the weathers bad but its better to do Ostara outside and its good when u
bring in a new member cuz its witnessed by nature. He said later he didnt mind being chilly he liked
being outside especially with all the trees and the birds and nature.

Oh he was blindfolded of course. He had to be led which would show trust.

Then he had to say that he was dedicated and had to repeat what he was told. Then he had to accept
the Challenge and had to enter without fear because its better to fall on the blade than to enter
fearfully. Then he had to say that he would enter with "perfect love and perfect trust" which is what I
said when I entered. Then he was whipped which wasnt a real whipping it was symbolic of the Ordeal
of your dedication and committment. I know it doesnt really hurt cuz it didnt hurt me. Then he had a
choice to leave. We had to promise before this that if he changed his mind that we would never hold it
against him and that we would treat him nicely even if he didnt join. But he didnt change his mind!

So then he said the Oath and we agreed. And then his blindfold came off and he was accepted as our
new member! Then we celebrated Ostara which is the Spring Equinox and it was a special time. Its a
time to welcome new life and when Day and Night are equal but Day will increase. We even had some
fun after the ceremony and had goodies including hard boiled eggs of course!

Oh I can say now that hes a member that one of our members knows him REALLY well. I didnt know
this at first but hes Mortisas boyfriend! I knew that for awhile but I couldnt say until he joined! So now I
brought in my first new member!

Thursday, March 21, 2002

Dear Mr Biggles

Nolan wants Mommy and me to help with the house. Hes had some of the guys at work help him and
Daddy of course but now he says it needs a womans touch so I guess Im a woman! lol

Pamela really liked the slumber party she was talking about it in our tutoring group. Of course Dale
kept trying to keep us on the subject and of course <3 JuLeS <3 was there. I know ppl probably think I
talk about him too much but hes my bf and Im in love with him and this is my site so there! :P lol j/k

Oh I finished another book Ive been forgetting to write down what Im reading! It was this great mystery
by Agatha Christie called And Then There Were None. These 10 people are invited to this island by
somebody they dont know and they think there going to have a great time! But theres this poem
about 10 little Indians and they all start dying one by one just like in the poem. Its a great book and Im
going to write an essay about it. I wont tell u how it ends cuz its a TOTAL surprise! I also read The
Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien which I loved and after that The Giver by Lois Lowry and that was a good
book too. I would write more but I cant remember if I already did so I dont want to repeat myself! lol