Lorien Loveshade's Secret Teen Diary March 9 to 12 2002

Saturday, March 9, 2002

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Today was a Wow day and a Wierd day! Ok first I was going to spend the night after I babysat Randy
which means being at Jules house plus I was going to visit the funeral home which means Jules and I
might be able to be alone! So Im VERY excited!

But then when Deacon Mike picks me up <3 JuLeS <3 is there but so is Roger! And Im like how can I
get alone with Jules with Roger there? And I had already decided not to wear a bra but wore a blue
sweat shirt where u couldnt tell and I then Im like whats the point now? But then I find there dropping
Roger off and Jules will be going to his house later so Im like thank Goddess! Jules says he wants to
help give me the tour and he thinks he left something at the funeral home so he has a good excuse.

So we drop off Roger and go to the home and Deacon Mike shows me a couple other things but Im
like not even thinking about it Im thinking about being alone with Jules! But then theres somebody
else a woman there and Im like how is this going to work? But Deacon Mike is talking to her so Jules
says "come on!" and we go! And he takes me to our special spot where we went before. And my heart
is going like a mile a minute and Im thinking this time Im letting him touch me inside my blouse and Im
hoping he will! Dont think Im a slut cuz I think Im falling in love <3 with him.

So we start kissing ReAlLy kissing and Im all excited its so wonderful. And then I feel his hand start
moving up from my back like it did last time. And it gets to my side and then he starts feeling my
breast just a little bit through my blouse and Im thinking go for it! And then I cant believe I did this cuz I
dont want him to think Im a slut but hes going so slow that I take his hand and put it under my blouse
on my bare tummy. And then I was afraid I shouldnt have done that but he starts moving his hand up
and just the feel of his hand against my bare skin is like Heaven! And then finally it reaches my breast
and theres nothing between his hand and me and my heart is going crazy I am so excited! Hes
actually feeling my breast! And its so wonderful but then he starts kissing me harder and then starts
massaging my breast and it should be wonderful but hes doing it so hard it hurts! And Im thinking oh
no my breast is too tender I guess its cuz my period is coming and Im like what do I do? And I feel
really bad. But then his hand actually reaches my nipple and touches it and Im like my God nobodys
ever done this! And he starts playing with it and it feels so nice and he even pinches it and its
wonderful! But then he massages my breast again and its so tender it hurts and I feel bad cuz I should
be enjoying it more and of course I cant tell him.

But then he decides we need to go back and we cant hardly talk cuz were breathing so hard and he
kisses me again and then we go back.

So after we leave Deacon Mike drops Jules off at Rogers cuz hes spending the night and I already
miss him! At least I get a hug! So I give Deacon Mike and Sister Vicky the poems I wrote for them
which are on my site and they really like them! And they both give me big hugs.

And then I babysit Randy and then I realize that I forgot to bring a bra! And Im thinking the blouse I
was going to wear tomorrow is a thin white button blouse and its going to be obvious Im not wearing a
bra to church! So Im thinking what am I going to do?

Anyway Randy is a little monster! Its like hes two ppl sometimes hes good and sometimes hes a
terror! He runs about and wont let me help him get ready for bed and when hes supposed to clean up
his toys he throws them all over the place! I mean hes like totally out of control! And Im about thinking
maybe spanking is a good idea! So then hes supposed to get ready for bed but instead he starts
running around in his underwear and he wont put his pajamas on.

So finally I promise to read him a story if hes good. So he gets ready for bed and brushes his teeth
and says his prayers hes always good when he says his prayers I guess cuz he thinks God is
watching! So I read the story and he falls asleep really quick thank God!

Then Deacon Mike and Sister Vicky get home. So I get ready for bed Im going to sleep in Jules and
Randys room again in Jules bed! And they give me a hug goodnight and they tell me how special I am
to them. And after I go to bed Deacon Mike checks on me and Randy which he always does. And I
give him another hug and he gives me a really big hug and I kiss him on the cheek and he hugs me
and just holds on to me its really sweet. And then he gives me a pat and then holds my face in his
hands and tells me how really special I am and for a sec I think hes going to give me a kiss right on
the lips but he kisses my forehead which was so sweet so it was just my imagination. I guess Im still
thinking of Jules! lol

And Im awake for like forever cuz Im so excited. And I hug Jules pillow like its Jules! <3 ;)

Oh I forgot to say its our 3 month anniversary which made it even more special! <3

Sunday, March 10, 2002

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Ok I finally figured out what to do about not having a bra I wore the blue sweat shirt and the white
blouse which is kind of wierd cuz I wore the sweatshirt yesterday but at least u couldnt tell I was
braless! Sister Priscilla wasnt in Sunday school today we had Sister Wanda and she was a lot of fun. I
wish shes do it all the time! JuLeS gave me a look one time cuz he knew what we did and it was our
secret! But Roger kept giving me funny looks and he made a rude comment thats not worth repeating.
He is so rude I dont know why Jules is friends with him!

Church was ok I sat between Deacon Mike and Jules and Randy acted like he didnt want to come
near me. I really should give the little monster a spanking but I cant do that in church! lol And one time
I think Jules is actually going to hold my hand! He didnt but I think he wanted to.

So I go home and Im still feeling all excited but when I get home Daddy and Mommy and Brandy are all
arguing with each other and Im thinking send me back to Jules!

Monday, March 11, 2002

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

I think Leslie suspects whats up! I mean I havent told her anything about me and JuLeS but she was
asking me questions like she already knew! I didnt tell her anything and I dont think shell say anything
I hope not!

Jules is getting really jealous! I was talking to Dustin about the yearbook and Jules is like staring at us.
I told him were just talking about our yearbook so that was ok. He doesnt need to be so jealous but its
kind of sweet!

Oh and my period started today its not always on the new moon which is good that was freaky! lol
Paula still hasnt said if shes coming to the slumber party or not but I hope she tells us soon cuz
otherwise we cant invite anyone else! Tiffany says she doesnt think she can come. Becky thinks thats
cuz shes going to be a cheerleader and doesnt want to hang around with us pee ons but I dont think
thats true. Anyway so now we can invite one more girl. I want to invite Pamela but I have to see what
Becky thinks. Its wierd cuz the last party was easy to invite ppl and this one is getting real complicated!

later

Paula called she says shes coming! She said she didnt want to miss our birthday parties and shes
sorry we havent been getting together more. I think it will be easier next year cuz Becky and I will be in
high school with her.

Tuesday, March 12, 2002

Dear Mr BiGgLeS

Mommy said shes going into her third trimester! The baby should be born in about three months! I got
to learn how to change diapers! :s

I cant wait for my b-day! Its tomorrow!

Oh I dont think I can go to our ceremony on Thursday. My b-day is tomorrow and then Friday were
having the slumber party at Beckys. Oh Pamela thinks she can go so well know tomorrow. But anyway
the ceremony on Thursday is just a small one anyway. The big one is next week thats Ostara and
thats when we initiate our new member. Now I get to bring somebody else in! :) Its too bad Jules isnt
interested cuz I think he would be real good but he doesnt even want to hear about the Goddess! :(
But thats ok I love him anyway. <3